She Hits Back

Drowning in Spam Comments is No Fun.

2010-05-21T17:17:00.003-05:00

I changed my comment settings due to the ridiculous amount of spam comments I have to moderate every day...which is especially annoying since I pretty much never update so what's the point? Anyway, there's now captcha to attempt to decipher if you leave me a comment. Sorry about the inconvenience.

And who knows? Maybe I'll update for real one of these days.

~Allison

Yikes! Almost a year since my last post!

2010-02-08T16:21:00.005-05:00

I sat down this afternoon to check my email, and as usual I had about seventeen bajillion spam comment requests to reject (I'm lying, it was only 3, but still- been happening a lot lately considering I practically never update anything). As I was gleefully clicking the reject button, I thought I'd take a look at the post that the comments were trying to become a part of, which was theDS Lite Case pattern- and I realized that two of the picture links were broken. Okay. So I fixed those. Photobucket wouldn't load. I ended up having to find them in the gigantic mess that is my pictures folder and re-upload them to flickr. Whatever, fixed. By the time I finished all of this, I realized I've been messing around with this blog for a good 15 minutes, may as well post something- so here I am.

Life in the past year as been tolerable, sometimes awesome, and occasionally awful. I guess I will do my best to sum up all of the main points in as brief amount of time as possible, because honestly I'm kind of sleepy and could really do with a nap.

I think my last post was about glaucoma or fibrocystic breast disease or something, so I won't repeat all of that....suffice to say that as of 2009 I was diagnosed with both. So that sucks. I spent a lot of time with doctors and specialists last year, have learned to manage pretty much all of these things, and despite all of the extra medical attention still don't have an explaination for some of the larger (to me, at least) problems- like the infertility and menopause symptoms and all of that fun stuff. My hormones always come back "normal". I'm kind of tired or trying to find an answer, so I pretty much decided last Fall to just give up. It's been a little freeing, but at the same time it would have been nice to have someone find a problem and then a solution rather than have to resign to live my life with issues that no one can help me with.

In May of 2009 my husband was laid off from his job as a DFM with Geek Squad. We were offered a severance package, and decided to dedicate a few months applying to government jobs. Time passed by really quickly, and by the time we felt like he was really getting the hang of filling out those godawful applications and KSAs, most of the agencies he was applying to hit a budget problem and had to suspend hiring. So basically, we spend almost 6 months wasting a bunch of time, and had nothing to show for it. He ended up taking a lower position at Best Buy (a Double Agent with Geek Squad- aka the job he was just 6 months prior the boss of) because we were out of funds and hope. We had to move to Midlothian, VA, near Richmond, for this position, which I absolutely hated but we're doing okay here after all. The neighborhood's nice, there's plenty of shopping convenient, etc.- I'm just trying not to think about how far I am from the ocean.

This doesn't mean that we've given up on a government job or anything, he's still applying to anything that opens in a grade 9 or 11 in an area we wouldn't mind moving too....so hopefully this job and area are just a temporary setback. He's scoring consistently high, so I'm crossing my fingers. The most recent one we're hoping for is in Beaver, WV- yes I'm aware of how funny that is- and it's close to my family so I'm a little bit excited about the prospect.

I should mention that we bought a new car literally days before he found out he was going to be laid off.....excellent timing, that. I got a Nissan Versa SL, and I'm really happy with it. It was time to put my POS Kia to rest.

Despite all of the financial hardships of 2009, we ended up actually being pretty okay. We had to cash out the 401K, but anything that didn't go towards surviving and eventually moving went either back into savings or towards paying off debt. I can actually say at this point that my debt doesn't terrify me anymore, which is an amazing weight off of my shoulders. We paid off a lot of things this year.

There isn't really any other major news, I guess. I turned 30 last month, which wasn't as devastating as I had expected. I actually had a nice birthday for once, instead of a drunken, depression-filled embarrassment. I've been doing a lot of knitting, of course, but nothing I've managed to take pictures of. I spent most of last year making Christmas gifts. The most impressive probably was the Janet Lace Shawl from knitpicks. Everything else was more or less same old shit- socks, gloves, arm warmers, hats, etc. I'm currently working on some socks for myself, and trying to figure out what yarn to use to make a scarf with the Fir Cone Lace stitch.

So there's my past year, more or less. Maybe this year something more blog-worthy will happen- or maybe I'll decide to blog about the less blog-worthy happenings anyway. I can't promise anything, either way. I find that as I get older- as people disappoint and I move on- as life throws awful shit at me and I somehow manage to dodge the turds without getting too much of a mess on my sweater or in my hair- I've become....I don't want to say more private, because I'm still fairly open to talking about my life...maybe just more selective about what I really want to share. I don't know how healthy this is, but then again I'm not sure how much I care. Regardless, I may blog, I may not. I'm sure no one's waiting on the edge of their seats, biting their fingernails, and waiting for my posts anyway (and if you are, then YOU've had one horrendous year! All that waiting!).

~Allison

Update

2009-03-20T00:06:00.004-05:00

Just a quick update on the results of the ultrasound....

The "mysterious mass" was a group of MORE cysts. I have a total of five. I go in next week to find out what needs to be done about them.

So, hooray! No cancer. Boo! Five freaking cysts. They're all small, too- like pea-sized- but they're all right next to each other, which I imagine is why they're causing so much trouble. So aggravating. I've been ridiculously sore since the ultrasound, which at best could be described as "a hand-held steam roller on my boob", as the cyst filled area isn't conveniently located on the outer area or anything- oh no- they're all waaaaay down in the center.

At any rate, since I don't have to worry about coming up with the co-pays for anything major like chemo or whatnot, I'm buying myself a new car this weekend. It's time to put the Kia out of it's misery. I'm probably going to get a Nissan Versa HB SL 1.8. With the variable transmission, convenience package, ABS package, and possibly the moon roof and XM radio. We'll see. It's about time I had something nice.

~Allison~

Grenade Blast

2009-03-15T23:28:00.005-05:00

Arg. So much has been happening, I haven't blogged. I feel more guilty for feeling guilty than I do for not blogging, though. lol.

Let's start with knitting. I have actually knit a ton, but I don't have pictures of most things and probably won't get around to taking them. I finished all of the incomplete projects from the photos before, plus a hat (shown below- pattern is from Presents Knits), three pairs of arm socks (pattern is here: Arm Socks) , two pairs of socks (no pictures, but just assume they're just like all of my other socks except for a bit longer and different colors), and a scarf for my mom (like the orange one I did for myself ages ago, but cream colored and not fuzzy).

here are photos of the hat and one pair of arm socks:

So that's all of the knitting news. I've been so upset and overwhelmed by everything else in my life lately, that knitting has really been one of the few things getting me through.

So, yeah. Other stuff.

Let's start with my birthday, last Jan. 13th. I went to the eye doctor that day to get prescription sunglasses (my birthday present from Jon) and the doctor discovered that my optic nerves are about three times larger than they're supposed to be. Tests were performed a week later, determining that I have pre-glaucoma. So, I don't have glaucoma yet, there's no reason to jump into treatment as of right now, but I'm extremely likely to develop it and have to be monitored once every 6 months for now. Basically, it's inevitable that someday- be it next year or 25 years from now- I'll have glaucoma. First huge bummer of the year.

Once that was all over with, and I finally got my stress levels somewhat down, I found a lump in my breast. This was about 3 weeks ago. Since then, I've been to two doctors- my regular family doctor, and the specialist he referred me to, a breast surgeon.

The surgeon did an exam last Wednesday, and found TWO lumps- and what she described as a "mysterious mass". I have an ultrasound tomorrow. If it shows anything especially worrysome, I'll also have a mammogram and whatever other imaging they use nowadays, followed by whatever it is they'll want to do afterwards- a biopsy, I imagine, would be the first step. The surgeon seems to think that the first two are most likely cysts, but we're still unsure about that "mass". If they're just cysts and the mass isn't anything to worry about, I will most likely either have them drained or removed.

I'm up past midnight, can't sleep, because I'm so worried about tomorrow. I keep trying to convince my family that everything's going to be fine, because they're so worried- my mom's missed a couple days of work over this- but I'm not sure that everything is actually going to BE fine. I'm basically losing my mind over it- especially since I've been pretending I'm not stressing for 2 weeks now. I AM stressing. More than I ever have before. I can't stop imagining these awful potential outcomes- cancer, loss of my breasts, the stress causing Jon to have a heartattack, dying- you get the picture. It's taking a huge toll on me. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be told that the lumps are without a doubt cysts, and the mass is just damaged tissue. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

It's making me both insanely grateful that I can't have children, so that I don't pass on my awful genes....and insanely sad that I can't have children because I'm afraid of dying young without a "legacy", and without being able to enjoy being a mother at least for a little while, like so many other "normal" women get to.

Anyway- this is a pretty downer post. I don't know how to be anything but, though, for now. This year has been a rough one, and we're only 3 and a half months in. At least I got to vent a little, which is a good feeling considering I've got to put on my fake-happy face tomorrow morning so that I don't scare Jon.

Sigh.

~Allison
currently listening to: "Incinerate" by Sonic Youth

Allison's Arm Socks

2009-03-15T23:09:00.003-05:00

I've been browsing through various fingerless and partially-fingered glove patterns all winter, and even knitted a few, but I kept finding that though some were very nice, none were exactly what I wanted. I wanted long, and fingerless but with a partial thumb, and slouchy, and thin, and warm, and they couldn't get in the way of the things I do like knitting and smoking and typing. Basically, I'm picky. Therefore, I ended up throwing together these- which fit all of my ridiculous criteria. These "arm socks" are made with a wool-blend sock yarn, which offers warmth without adding bulk. The finger cuffs fold down to get out of your way when you're doing things, but fold back out for a little extra finger-warmth when you're outside.

Arm Socks Pattern

What You’ll Need:

- 2 balls Red Heart Heart & Sole yarn
- Set of 5 DPN needles size US 2 (2.75)
- 3 stitch markers
- Yarn or tapestry needle

Gauge:
34 stitches x 44 rows = 4"

Pattern:

Cuff and Arm:

CO 58 stitches. Distribute stitches evenly over 3 DPNs (19 on first needle, 20 on second, 19 on third). Join around, placing stitch marker at the beginning of the round.

Knit 4 rounds.

Work 1x1 ribbing for 12 rounds.

Knit 75 rounds.

Thumb Gore:

K32. Place a stitch marker, increase using kfb (knit into front and back of stitch) for next two stitches, place another stitch marker, and knit rest of round.

*K two rounds

K to stitch marker, Inc next stitch, K until there is one stitch before stitch marker, inc next stitch, k to end of round*

Repeat from * to * until you have 20 stitches between SMs. (25 rows- increases on rows 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, 19, 22, and 25)

(Alternately, if you hate having three stitch markers hanging in the way, you can arrange the stitches so that the first needle has the knit stitches leading up to the gore, the second needle is just the gore stitches, and the third needle is the rest of the round. Just remember to increase the first and last stitch of the gore needle during increase rounds)

Row 26- knit.

Row 27- K to thumb gore. Move stitches between SMs to extra DPN needle or stitch holder. CO 2 sts from gap and complete round.

You will now be knitting everything but the thumb gore stitches. Rearrange stitches between 3 needles again if you need to do so (first needle-19 sts, second-20sts, third-19sts)

Hand:

Knit 5 rounds.

1x1 rib (k1, p1) for 25 rounds. Loosely bind off in ribbed pattern.

Thumb:

Move all thumb gore stitches around DPNs, picking up and knitting 2 stitches from edge of glove to close gap (7 on first needle, 8 on second needle, 7 on third).

Knit 12 rounds, then bind off loosely.

Finishing:

Weave in all ends, sewing in holes at thumb with tail of thumb yarn or scrap yarn.

Additional Pictures:

Above left- cuffed Above right- uncuffed

Thanks for looking! As usual, this pattern is for personal use only. Thanks!

~Allison Campbell

Ring Ting Tingle-ing

2008-12-24T23:26:00.004-05:00

Well, it's been ages- but now that it's officially Christmastime, I feel like I need to post something, both to wish everyone a great holiday season (Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukkah, Brightest Yule, Happy Kwanzaa, A Festivus for the Rest of Us, Merry Solstice, Happy Life Day, and whatever else you may or may not celebrate!), and also to sort of sum up the end of this year and put down for posterity (if not for the world, than at least for the benefit of my handful of faithful readers lol) my thoughts on the year's imminent close. And, as usual, to drone on and on about things of no great importance to anyone but me....like my cats! ZOMG cats! And Yarn! Woo hoo I got new yarn!

LOL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So this year has been a good one, mostly, but not one that I really have a lot to say about. We moved back to what I consider my "home" (Virginia Beach), Jon works ungodly hours, I find ways to amuse myself. This has pretty much been the drill for a few years now, but this year I guess it seemed the hardest. I realize, as time goes on, that I'm becoming more and more introverted....which is just me trying to say nicely that I'm a grumpy, socially-awkward hermit. I had big plans for moving back here- I'd reconnect, go out, grab a hold of the youth and wonder that I feel like I lost somewhere along the road to getting older. Not surprisingly, I instead spent the year mostly wrapped up in my own little world, knitting and pouring resin and sleeping late and barely leaving this cave of an apartment. Sometimes I worry that I'm drifting away-that I'm on the fast track to becoming a cat lady, or at the very least someone who no one remembers to send Christmas cards to. Other times, I'm pleased that I'm able to get along with myself so well, or that I've managed to stay occupied and free of outside drama. It's a strange thing, growing older. I'm proud of how I've grown as a person- I'm happy with the decisions I've made (mostly- I certainly have some regrets, mostly involving my drunken escapades in my early 20's) I'm happy with my husband, my family, our station in life. There's always room for improvement, of course, but this year has been a year of realizing that things are getting better for us- that we're really, officially, totally "grown-ups". I do, however, wish that I was a little better at keeping in touch. Unfortunately, I just really don't know that realizing this will change anything.

This year has also brought the opening of my etsy store, shinobisoup.etsy.com. It's been a new challenge for me, dedicating myself to a certain thing and running with it like this, but it's been a great new experience and I look forward to taking it into the new year. There are definitely things to learn still about selling online, and about crafting in general, but I'm enjoying learning and making this work for me. I do very much feel that the handmade movement is important- especially this time of year, with all of the rampant commercialism.

Yikes, I'm running out of steam already.

Guess that means it's time to talk about cats!

Here are some photos of my cats opening their Xmas gifts:

I wrapped a few small toys in thin tissue sprinkled with catnip for each of them- it was hilarious watching them figure out what to do with them. I have video, but don't feel like uploading all of that tonight. I guess this is what happens when you can't have kids- you start wrapping presents for your pets lol. Man oh man.

Completely unrelated, but because I was just contacted today by someone who found my blog by searching for World of Warcraft, I am taking an official long break from the game as of last October. The reasons are mainly because I was burned out on playing a healer, and that I was disappointed with WotLK....but another smaller yet very valid reason is that Fable II came out and I got distracted. Now that we've picked up Fallout 3, I imagine I'll be shoving Fable II aside pretty soon as well. I guess I'm just a one-game sort of gal.

You see, this is what happens when I start writing a blog and take to long to come to any conclusions....I start losing track of my thoughts until there is nothing but a bunch of random things left to say. I suppose that's just how I am, though. Prepare yourself, because the rest of this post will be more random unrelated topics. Like.....

New Yarn!

Here was some Xmas Gift Yarn:

This will eventually be two pairs of socks, a hat, and a scarf.

I bought this stuff pre-holiday with some early gift money:

(I already made a hat from it)

(and started a pair of gloves)

(AND a neck warmer)

For yarn brand and pattern info, click on the pics to take you to my flickr page- that stuff is there in the descriptions and titles and I don't want to re-type everything here because I'm lazy.

Holy crap, the lens of my camera is DIRTY. See that big smudge in the photos? I'd better clean that shit up.

Hmmmm, let's see- what else- I recently visited my family in WV for an early holiday celebration- it was mostly pleasant and uneventful; at least, was until my sister and her husband arrived, but I scooted out of there the day after they came so I managed to avoid most of the drama. Jon and I are going to a Christmas buffet with my father, stepmother, and my stepmother's dad and stepmother tomorrow, which should be nice. We also spent Thanksgiving with them- with Jon's schedule like it is this year, we pretty much have to stick around close to home for all of the major holidays.

After realizing recently that pretty much every bath product I use makes me itchy or miserable, I've become a hardcore homemade soap and shampoo bar convert- which isn't huge news or anything, but I'm running out of things to talk about lol. If you've ever looked at the ingredient list on your soap and products and wondered "WTF is this crap?!", then I highly recommend googling handmade soaps or searching on etsy and trying out a few of those. It's nice to be able to not only pronounce, but understand each ingredient's purpose. Added bonus, my skin and hair are freaking super duper awesome right now.

Okay, Okay, I give up. It's way past my bedtime if I want to wake up to see what Santa brought me in the morning :) I really hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday, no matter what you celebrate (or in some cases, already celebrated). Hopefully, I'll update more frequently in the upcoming year, but I wouldn't hold your breath ;)

* Allison *

currently listening to: "Winter Wonderland/Sleigh Bells" by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

T-I-R-E-D Spells It....

2008-10-06T00:10:00.004-05:00

Well, we just got back from SC Saturday night (or Sunday morning, technically), where we attended my oldest nephew Chris' wedding. He and his new bride seemed very happy, and we're happy for them.

The trip was tiring- we left Friday morning and took the back roads most of the way down so we could see some of the Outer Banks on the way, and then cut over to I95 to hit JR's to buy cheap cigarettes and to go to the outlet shops nearby. I found some Lucky jeans for like 30 bucks, which was extremely awesome. We got to my in-law's house around 7pm, stayed the night there, and followed them to the church where the wedding was being held the next morning. We changed after the wedding and left from the church at around 3pm, and hit the road home. Ended up not getting back until a little after midnight Saturday night.

I got to meet about a million people in Jon's family and extended family, most of which he hadn't seen in years and years. There was only one drunk uncle attending the wedding, and he more or less behaved himself- and only one little pissing contest with Jon that I noticed so that's pretty good. I had a few people show interest in the pendant I was wearing (that I made, of course) so I even got to promote my business a little bit, though I was so exhausted that I can't say that I was really a great self-promoter.

One thing that really bugged me, though, was that about a zillion people- almost all of them people who didn't even know me- demanded to know why we didn't have kids yet. I smiled (or grimaced and tried to make it seem smile-like) as best as I could and responded with vague "oh, maybe one day's" and shit like that, but on the inside, I wanted to scream. I really thought I was reaching a point where I was okay with being infertile....and then we went to this wedding. I've been in a state of mild depression and self-loathing since. For the record, people- it's SO GODDAMN RUDE to ask people you don't know why they don't have children...for some people, it wasn't a choice they made, and it's so painful to have something like that thrown in your face constantly when you've tried for years to get pregnant.

I meant to get a bunch of knitting done in the car on the way there, but I ended up being too distracted by good weather and interesting sights. I'm currently working on Christmas gifts, so I won't be going into very much detail about what I'm working on for a while.

I guess I'll be entering my first craft show in a few weeks- the community is having a little "Ladies night out" here, with various vendors and craftspeople and refreshments and the like. I reserved a table for myself and my friend Shelby to share (she sells Ribbons gift catalogues, among other things, through quixtar). I have so much work to do to get enough product together to fill my half of the table, but the weather's supposed to be nice for at least the next few days so hopefully I can get a few batches out of the way this week. I want to put more in my shop, but I guess I'll wait until after the craft show and post what I have after that. Hopefully, I'll be successful, because I have all of the holiday gifts I plan to actually purchase rather than make picked out and I'd really like to start making my purchases.

Anyway- not really feeling like writing- or doing anything except for sleeping, to tell the truth. Off to bed I go!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "I've Been Tired" by the Pixies

The Velocity of Time

2008-09-21T22:15:00.004-05:00

Well, after the doctor's appointment I haven't felt much like blogging. Needless to say, it was a huge disappointment, that bitch was a total quack, and I'm putting off seeing anyone else for another year because I'm just not willing to deal with it right now.

Since then, though, the rest of my life has been picking up quite a bit. Jon sat down to look through our finances, who we were paying out to, what we still owed, etc.--- we're almost completely out of debt! One of our big debts gets paid off in November, and we're going to use the extra money we have that normally would go to that to make double payments on his credit cards from before we were married, which should pay them off sometime before March- and then the money we'll have that would usually go to that after that point will go towards extra payments towards something else, etc. etc. etc. At any rate, it's so exciting to finally see a light at the end of the financial burden tunnel.

Also, my mom was screwing around on the US Treasury website today and apparently I have unclaimed property tax refunds in my maiden name in Newport News? I'm not sure what exactly, my name was on a list- so I sent in the little form and they're researching it and in 8 weeks I should be getting a check for whatever the amount I overpaid is in the mail if it is indeed me....so that's kind of exciting.

Plus, my etsy shop is picking up- I've had 5 sales through the website and 3 off-site, my brother is advertising like crazy for me, and so is my mom....so many other etsy sellers complain that it took weeks/months/ages to get their first sale, and I've been going for like 3 weeks with 8 sales so I'm pretty hopeful. I need to get some business cards (and stickers, and buttons) made with my logos and all, which seems soooo awesome to me. I'm kind of proud of myself. (and in case you missed the last post, my myspace, and the button on the side panel over there, the web address is: shinobisoup.etsy.com)

I'm trying to come up with a slogan or shop motto or whatever to put on my business cards/in my shop announcement- if you have any suggestions, please leave me a comment or email me at shinobi.soup@yahoo.com!

In other news, Jon and I have both now lost a total of 4 lbs. since we started our new diet and exercise plan. I feel so much stronger than I have in a while- and have weird leg muscles I never knew existed to prove it lol. I went shopping on Saturday to get a new dress to wear to my nephew's upcoming wedding, and ended up getting a size smaller than I normally would! I don't know if that's because the store I bought from sizes strangely (I'd never bought anything there before- H&M) or if it was really because my strength exercises and walking have really shifted my fat that much, but it was really exciting. I got a really cute dress, at any rate. It's short sleeved with a deep v-neck and a high cinched-and-tied waist, full a-line skirt, and it looks absolutely awesome. Nice and swingy and drapy in the right places, and clingy in the right places, too :) I bought a skinny grey cardigan to wear with it, and some tall grey boots from Target to match. I love shopping for pretty outfits, it's so rare that I ever have an excuse to dress up.

I've also been knitting lately, of course. Here are my newest socks!

I love love love the colors. Unfortunately, I have to take a break from knitting for myself for a little while (and it's SOOO hard, since I still have some awesome sock yarn to get through) because it's time to make Xmas gifts! I'm halfway finished with a pair of thick socks for my grandfather, and I have some things for my mother-in-law, grandmother, and sister and brother-in-law to knit still, too (I'm not going to say what they are, in the off-chance one of them is reading this though). I'm doing the handmade thing this year- everyone in my family is either getting a gift made by me personally, or handmade by another artisan. I have a bunch of things picked out so far, but I'm still stumped on what to get my mom and Jon.

What else, what else. I'm so sick of the election crap I could puke, I don't like either "main" candidate and will probably end up voting Libertarian again. My car broke down, and got fixed, and is now running like a dream with a new thermostat, gasket and tires. We're thinking of getting another car in a few months, but I'm tempted to wait until next Spring/Summer so we can save up more for a down payment and maybe get something less lame than a Kia Rio. I'm really loving the VW Rabbit. We're heading down to SC on the 4th for the wedding I mentioned earlier, but we'll only be staying one night since Jon's giving training on some new something-or-other that week and has to be around for that. I think he's going to Baltimore for a few days starting the 14th, but I'm not sure for what or for how long. Mom may be coming down that week to spend time with me, so at least I won't be alone. That SHOULD be the last business trip until at least January, which is good. He's been working so hard, I'm proud of him...just wish we could take a vacation or something that doesn't involve work or family functions. One of these days.

Anyway- I ought to get ready for bed, have to wake up to go jogging early tomorrow, and then work on a few things for Shinobi Soup. Need to find time for a haircut, too- it's looking wicked shaggy lately. So, yeah- until next time!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Sugar Water" by Cibo Matto

Into the Sunset

2008-08-28T20:43:00.004-05:00

Oh my God, I'm such a slacker. I promise I haven't blogged for good reasons, though. I've been so busy with so many projects and personal changes that I just haven't thought about sitting down to write.

First of all, let me brag about my newest socks! Made with Berrocco Sox yarn (still don't remember which colorway this was), I present:

I've started a new pair with some Regia Cotton yarn I bought from my friend, Ruth- I also picked up some more Trekking xxl and a ball of On Line from her, as well. Here's a pic:

I'm pretty excited about socks lately- the weather's getting cooler, and soon it'll be time to toss the flip-flops into the back of the closet and bring out the Dr. Marten mary janes. I need all the awesome socks I can get! My goal is to never have to wear store-bought socks all season, with the exception of gym socks (There's basically no way I could let myself get all sweaty in my homemades).

In non-knitting (but still crafty) news, I've been making resin and fabric pendants this month with the intention of selling them for a little bit of spending money (read: sock yarn , purse, and shoe funds). My etsy shop can be found here: shinobisoup.etsy.com. I'll stick a little button on the side bar over there for future reference--------->
I'm wicked excited about this, I wear these pendants all of the time and absolutely love them.

Aside from knitting socks and pouring resin, I've been busy with doctor's appointments and a new (self-created and enforced) exercise and diet program. Yup, it's that time of the year again....time to see a bunch of doctors and specialists for the same damn problems I've been complaining about for years, only to put my insurance company out several thousand bucks and still never get a clear diagnosis. I'm trying to be hopeful, but after three years of playing the "inordinate amounts of tests and procedures" game for nothing but a confused doctor and a pissed off (and still infertile, and still sick) Allison is no fun. Meanwhile, Jon and I are pretty disgusted with our weight and he especially has had some reasons to want to get in better shape, so I've limited our dinners and breakfasts down to low calorie meals from a specific list of food items and I'm trusting him to not go overboard at lunchtime. In addition to that, we've been waking up at 5:00 am five mornings a week to walk/jog for a half an hour, do various strength exercises for 25 minutes, and do a 10-15 minute yoga workout together. It's been fun, in a sick sort of up-way-too-early way. Haven't seen any weight loss results to speak of yet, but my jeans are definitely feeling a bit looser (and Jon informed me earlier that my butt looks awesome lol). It's so hard for me to lose weight these past few years (and I imagine that once the doctor's figure out whatever the hell is wrong with me, the weight gain issue will no doubt be solved, as well) so I don't have any huge expectations for the present, but eventually I would really really like to shed about 25 lbs. That would put me at a size "Medium" again. Jon wants to lose 60lbs, which would put him almost back to what he weighed when we got married. Anyway, wish us luck, we're really trying hard.

So that's more or less it. It's been an awesome Summer, and I'm hoping that even though this week has been cooler, that the weather will warm back up for at least 3-4 more weeks so I can squeeze in some extra time at the beach now that all of the tourists are gone. If old farmer's almanac sort of predictions and signs are accurate, then we'll have a mild Winter at any rate (all of the woolly worms around here are solid black- no brown stripe!) So I'm crossing my fingers. I hate cold.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Helicopter" by M. Ward

Top of the Greenest Tree

2008-07-15T09:24:00.004-05:00

Well, it's already July. Where the hell does time go, lately?

I've been busy, busy, busy with many mundane things. Summer seems to give me a lot more energy for tackling big cleaning projects and waking up early to go get things done. I won't blog about all of the day-to-day boringness of my life, though.

I had my in-laws and nephew here for 4 days last month, which was.....long. My Mother-in-law and I snarked at each other pretty badly at first, but we settled down by the second day. It was a mostly pleasant visit past that, although I was exhausted and stressed out the whole time. My nephew is at that young teenage age where he knows everything and thinks he can do whatever he wants...which caused us to butt heads a few times. I have a hard time with kids in the 13-16 year old range. My brother and I fought like crazy when he was that age. Two hours after they left, Mom showed up and stayed for 3 nights. That was less stressful, though I was completely worn out by the time she got here. Of course, that didn't stop my mother from wanting to run around like crazy the whole time she was here- we spent 3 days straight shopping and going to the beach.

While Mom was here, I finished that bag I started for Spencer (the shoe bag, mentioned last post). I didn't remember to take pictures before I gave it to him, though. Once everyone left and I got my schedule back on track, I finished up the socks I had started for myself:

and another photo:

I've started a new pair, this time with Berrocco Sox....don't remember the color name/number/whatever, but it's orange, red, dark purple, white and black so far.

I'm thinking of hopping on the resin pendant bandwagon, as well. I've been taking pictures of old paintings of mine, and going through old photographs, and shrinking them down in photoshop to print and encase in resin. I have the materials, but I haven't started actually doing anything yet. I'll let you know how they turn out.

Ho hum. I really don't have much to talk about. It's gorgeous outside, I've been hitting the beach pretty regularly, Jon and I are fine, everything seems pretty boring and normal.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Girl U Want" by DEVO

Boring a Way Through Me

2008-06-12T15:39:00.004-05:00

So I've been slacking on my blog again. Meh. It's too nice outside to blog all the time, anyway :)

I should be finished with the socks I mentioned in my last blog, but I'm not. I had to put them aside for a new project for my little brother- he wanted one of those drawstring shoe bags, with the straps for your shoulders- do you know what I'm talking about? At any rate, I'm winging it, and I have most of the bag itself finished, but the i-cord for the drawstring/straps is most likely going to take 6 thousand years. It's a pretty boring (and not very awesome) knit, but he seems pretty excited about it so far, so whatever. I want to get back to my socks SOOOO BAD, the yarn is leaving all of these wonderful surprise stripes.

In other news.....hmmm. I went to WV a couple of weeks ago, but I ended up not staying for my brother's actual graduation as was the plan. I left the day before, not feeling well. My allergies were basically kicking my ass up there- too many trees on my mom's property I imagine. At any rate, I stayed there for four days, spent time with everyone, and got my visiting in. It wasn't a super exciting time, but it was a nice visit at any rate. Now that I'm home, I'm preparing for my in-laws' visit on the 21st through the 24th. My youngest nephew is coming with them, as usual, and possibly my oldest nephew and his fiance who we've never met. I don't know where everyone is going to sleep, I may have to insist that they get a hotel. I'm waiting to get a definite on who's coming and who isn't. I guess I'm not out and out dreading the visit, but I'm sure that will come once the date looms more closely.

I've been reading books by Philippa Gregory lately- I started with The Other Boleyn Girl, moved on to The Queen's Fool, and just started The Virgin's Lover last night. I'm basically in love with these books. Nice light romance reading, with tons of history thrown in to make me feel like I'm not wasting my time. I'm reading them out of chronological order, but oh well. Anyway, I recommend.

I've been playing around with this Rosetta Stone software, trying to learn French. It's fun, but I'm not sure how much I'm actually retaining. I'll give it a chance for a month and see how it goes.

You know what's really pissing me off lately? Every single time I stand in line at the grocery store and seek diversion from the awful lighting or the slow ass cashier with the covers of the celebrity magazines there, all I ever see anymore is "is so and so is pregnant?" or "check out whatshername's baby bump!" or "exclusive pictures of whatshisface's new baby!". Same with most of the celebrity news websites I read on occasion. This has been going on for like a year now- what the hell happened to celebrities who had affairs, or did stupid things, or got fat, or shaved their heads and beat up cars with umbrellas?! I seriously don't care who's pregnant. I'm sick to death of it. There has GOT to be something more interesting to tell us about these people. It's like suddenly the only thing Americans are supposed to care about is the fertility of the stars. Amazing, Thatbitchwhostarredonthatoneshow can breed. Whoopty-fucking-do. Just one more reason I'm nothing like them. Blah.

Anyway- I'm obviously angrier today than I thought I was. I'm exhausted. I probably shouldn't have picked today to blog.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "This Fire" by Franz Ferdinand

Comber of the Beach

2008-05-20T12:37:00.003-05:00

I FINALLY finished Jon's socks. I don't remember where the pattern came from exactly, it was a sock pattern generator that I googled (not the arachne one, a different one). I hate when I find things and then forget to bookmark them once I've printed out what I needed at that exact moment. Here are some photos:

the yarn is from Knit Picks, but I think the colorway must be discontinued because I don't see it on their website anymore. It was the Essential Sock Yarn, at any rate. Next on my knitting agenda is another pair of socks for me, with Trekking (xxl) yarn in color number 84 (pictured below)

I should have plenty of time to knit next week, as I'm going to visit my family in West Virginia for 6 days. My brother is graduating High School finally, and I'm planning on spending the week before that visiting with my grandmother and my mother (when she's not working) and just seeing something different for a while. It sounds like it should be a stress-free time, but I'm pretty sure something will come up and ruin that. Something always does.

I've been having insanely scary dreams lately. I don't want to go into details, because they're just too awful, but suffice to say that I wake up in the middle of the night with night sweats, breathing heavily and scared out of my mind, at least 5 times a week for the past 2 weeks. My diet hasn't changed all that much (except for I'm actually cooking more), I'm not eating anything right before I go to bed, I haven't been watching a ton of weird shit at night, I don't know what's going on. My subconscious is being a very bad friend.

I've listened to a few good audio books lately -the most recent was Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton. Before that was A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton-Porter, and Daddy Long-Legs by Jean Webster. I think I've now officially exhausted the "Classics" section of the audio-library I use, I'm going to have to go for another genre next time. At one book per every 3-7 days, for the past year and a half, I've gone through them pretty thoroughly.

And now for the dreaded World of Warcraft rant...Some of you know I'm addicted to that game, and have been off and on since it first came out a few years ago. I have approx. 30 characters on 7 different servers, but I currently play two "mains" on the Arygos server: Loglady who is a level 70 Balance Druid, and Spacerussian who is a level 70 Resto Shaman. I have Space geared more or less as well as I can until some of the more high end raids (which it seems pretty unlikely I'll ever see, since my guild's roster has dwindled substantially in the past few months -not because of anything we did, just because we're all adults there and eventually, as adults, it seems that we put aside things like computer games for things like responsibilities.....pssh.) Loglady's gear, however, is still awful enough that it's in my best interest to farm honor from the battlegrounds to earn the season 1 crap that you can get with honor points. That, plus an arena piece once in a while, means that I've got some semi-decent pieces currently, but I have to get like 100K more honor to finish off the set (and get all the trinkets, necklaces, rings, and the extra crap that goes with it). It's a lot of trouble, but with the lousy selection of moonkin gear available elsewhere, it's worth it. At any rate, I've been playing A LOT of battlegrounds lately. That and our weekly arena matches (which we suck at pretty badly, but we're trying to work on it) are pretty much all I've done recently in the game. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that Alliance absolutely sucks at following a pre-determined plan. We seem to be a faction full of rebels- and not particularly smart rebels, either. Everyone runs all over the damn place, without any idea what they're doing. Every AV seems to be filled with 10 people who are actually trying, and 30 people who are just fighting Horde randomly somewhere on a road. I don't think I've EVER won a Warsong Gulch battle on this server, since it seems to be Alliance's prerogative to spread out as much as possible, ignore the flag carrier, and refuse to heal or protect each other. Eye of the Storm is the same. Arathi Basin is the worst of all though. A battle of 15 people vs. 15 people, where you have a total of 5 nodes that can be taken for your team. Only THREE have to be controlled to have the majority and therefore win the game. Alliance is greedy. Every time I've played lately, rather than take three nodes, leave 5 people at each node, and hold and protect them until the end of the game which certainly seems like the logical approach, everyone decides that the BEST thing to do is to leave one (or no) people to defend what we've taken, and then run around willy-nilly trying to attack ALL of the nodes....and failing miserably every time while all the ones we'd already taken get quickly yanked out from under us. FAIL. My point of this rant is: Stop sucking, Alliance. Some of us have one hell of a lot more honor to farm.

At any rate, not a ton has been going on with me lately. The weather's been awesome, I've been to the beach a handful of times since my last post (and am working on a killer tan). Jon's home now, and doesn't have any business trips planned in the near future. I've been cooking more lately- last night, I made lemongrass and ginger chicken with spinach and jasmine rice. MmmmMmm. The night before was pot roast with new potatoes and carrots. I think we're going out with Jon's boss tonight, but I'm not sure where. We went out with my friend JR and his girlfriend last weekend, and they also came to the beach with me the previous Wednesday, which was fun. My dad and I have been having some issues lately, but nothing I feel like talking about. We were in a minor car accident last Saturday, but there wasn't any damage and no one got hurt (though I did get exceedingly angry at the nasty bitch that hit us). Ummm.....what else. I've been reading a few blogs in particular for a while, that I keep meaning to delete from my google reader, but every time I go to do so something new is posted that is so hilarious and hypocritical and absolutely ridiculous that I can't bring myself to delete. I'd post links, but I'm not trying to be like that. At any rate, another friend of mine and I get great pleasure snarking on the other two people. As a housewife, these snark-o-tunities are precious lol. So keep it up, You-Know-Who-You-Are! At any rate, my life has been more of the same, just with more sunshine and with a husband that's been around more.

I've realized that it's difficult for me to blog when I keep having to get up to do other things. The end result seems pieced together. Oh well.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Rover" by Jethro Tull (extra shehitsback trivia! This is one of my all-time favorite songs)

Fresh News From the Force

2008-05-06T00:29:00.003-05:00

Jeez- didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. I promise, I'm not dead, just haven't really been in a blogging mood, I guess.

Jon has been out of town most of last month, and leaves for his last of this batch of business trips tomorrow. He's been to Cleveland and Minneapolis, and now he leaves for Anaheim. The first two trips were hard on me- I missed him, it was rainy, I was bored and lonely and aggravated, but I'm hoping this time I'll be in a better mood because the weather is supposed to be awesome and I plan on spending mad time at the beach. I bought a new bathing suit the other day and cleaned out my little cooler, so I'm ready to go.

I've spent this last month mostly knitting and watching movies. Tons of movies. I don't know if I can remember all of them, but I'll try to for the sake of a list.....I watched Grey Gardens, Cashback, Factory Girl, I'm Not There, Juno, part of Sex Lives of the Potato Men, part of Bottle Rocket, The Village, Waitress, and I started to watch Across the Universe but no one bothered to warn me that it's a musical so I turned that one off pretty quickly. I'm sure I'm missing something. I also watched about a million episodes of Northern Exposure. You would think with all of that sitting on my ass in front of the TV, I would have about 16 finished knitted objects to show off, but I don't. I have most of a pair of socks. I need to do the toe one of Jon's socks, and about 50 rows of foot and the toe of the other one. I've been pretty slow with these for some reason. I'm not sure why, it's not that I hate the project, or the yarn, in fact I love the yarn and I like sock knitting, so I don't know why I'm dragging my feet. Meh.

My allergies have been kicking my butt. Someone recommended eating a few spoons of local honey every day, to set up an immunity to the pollens that are bothering me. It seems to be helping, but I don't know if that's actual or psychosomatic. I do know that while Jon's been here I've made him eat honey before bed, too, and it seems to have helped reduce his snoring.

So I recently found out that two friends of mine are pregnant, I wonder who the third will be. I feel pretty confidant it won't be me.

We got our economic stimulus package in the bank account on Friday night, so we went shopping for Summer clothes on Sunday. Jon hasn't had new clothes in years- not because he hasn't had the opportunity, but because he normally refuses to go clothes shopping. I guess he was finally sick to death of wearing the same old things, though, because he actually seemed to enjoy himself this time (and ended up with a bigger haul than I did even). I ended up getting completely disgusted with the styles in the stores currently. I hate the skinny-leg shorts. I hate the makes-you-look-pregnant hippy shirts. I hate the super-long tunic t-shirts. I did buy a brown sundress, a casual light khaki wrap skirt, a pale yellow t-shirt, a teal tank-top, and a bathing suit (and two pairs of flip-flops from Old Navy, because, seriously, how can anyone pass up $2.50 shoes?!). Jon also ended up with new luggage, since he's suddenly embarrassed to carry my old floral suitcases. I ordered a few t-shirts from Threadless, though, wanna see?

I already received the one with the giraffes, I'm expecting the other two to arrive on Thursday. So these things, plus paying back a debt to my father, is how we stimulated the economy :P Well, ours AND a few other countries, I suppose. Meh. We also ate out at a few places while Jon was home cause I really haven't felt like cooking lately.

Eh- I don't have a ton more to talk about. I'm leaving town at the end of the month to go to WV and see my younger brother graduate High School, I've been exercising like crazy, I've been sitting around way more than I'm exercising, I've been enjoying the nice weather. Hope everyone else is doing well!

~Allison
currently listening to: "Break it Down Again" by Tears for Fears

I Speak in Smoke Signals

2008-04-08T01:59:00.003-05:00

It's 3am, and I need to wake up early (ish). I'm awake, and I'm over-thinking, and I'm wondering if maybe I'm depressed. It's been so long since I've admitted that to myself, so it seems weird to do it now.

Maybe it's because I'm selling my antique table and chairs to a woman who, although I don't know her, seems like the sort of person I at one point thought I would be like. She seems active. She owns a house. She travels. She attends art classes. She has two kids. I guess it's fitting, then, that I'm handing over a part of my family's history to this woman- she should have been me. I should have been her. I wanted to be like her.

Maybe it's because we're so stagnant, Jon and I. We are so set in our ways, we don't try new things. We don't get out much. We have set schedules and habits and interests and even conversations. I can predict what he's going to say before he says it about 90% of the time lately. I love him, and I think we have a good relationship, but sometimes it feels like we've been married for 40 years instead of 4 (our anniversary is in two days!).

Yeah, I could change things. I'm too lazy. I tell myself constantly that I'm going to get out more, or that I'm going to paint more, or that I'm going to do this and that and instead, I fall back into my routine. I wake up, check my email, straighten up the house, do laundry, fix lunch, exercise, clean the dishes, talk on the phone, play with the cats, shower, dress for the day, knit or read or play computer games for an hour until Jon gets home, run my errands, fix dinner, watch tv and knit, tuck Jon in for the night, listen to an audiobook or play World of Warcraft for a few hours, check my email again, and then go to bed. Wake up, repeat. It's ridiculous. I know it's ridiculous. My mother and sister continuously bitch at me about everything. They accuse me of being a "hermit". It makes me want to withdraw more. Jon and I talk about doing different things, going different places, and then we don't. We've planned big vacations every year for 4 years and haven't gone on one, save a few small trips to visit family members. When I go on vacations with my mother and sister, I'm irritable the whole time because I miss my routine.

I'm being whiny.

My hormones are all over the place today. I don't know what I expect from myself.

Maybe now that that table and chairs will be out of my extra room (our dining room was too small to set it up here) I will have more room to set up my easel and actually paint something. I doubt I will, but maybe one day I'll try anyway.

Maybe if I could just have ONE good hair day out of all of these rainy, dreary Spring days we've had so many of lately, I'd be more inclined to do other things. Having hair that actually does what you want it to do is completely integral to functioning properly, after all. :)

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Have to Explode" by The Mountain Goats

Cold Steady Rain

2008-03-31T03:11:00.004-05:00

The Booga Bag is finally finished! Here are some photos:

The pattern can be found HERE.

I made a few changes to the pattern. First of all, I'd read in several forums that the original pattern yielded a smaller-than-expected bag, so I upped my yarn from worsted sized to bulky (The pattern calls for Noro Kureyon, but I ended up using Knit Picks Wool of the Andes Bulky Hand Dye). Also, I used larger needles (size 11) and made my i-cord about 6 and a half feet instead of six (I almost wish I'd gone a little longer than that, actually, but it's a good length-- just not as long as I'd hoped).

I had a hell of a time felting this thing- turns out, my crappy apartment water heater can't handle a hot water wash if the dishwasher is going at the same time. I didn't learn this until AFTER I had started the wash and thrown my pillow-case clad bag and a couple of pairs of jeans in there, of course. So, sopping wet and dripping all down the hallway, I transferred the bag to the kitchen sink where I tried to do it by hand with boiling water. I apparently don't have the upper body strength or energy or patience for felting by this method, because after about an hour it didn't seem to be doing anything. So....I kept alternating between hot and cold, stirring it up and beating it up as best I could, with a squirt of detergent here and there, and gave up for a while. I ended up waiting until the dishwasher was finished after all, and chucked it back into the washing machine (more drippy water down the hallway) and it felted up just fine after just one wash. After all of that, though, I'm thrilled with the results and though it's only been dry and put together for two days I've already had several compliments when I've worn it out. Hooray for knitting nice things.

In other news, my car was broken into last week. Jon's Geekmobile was broken into the week before. Two break-ins in less than two weeks. Was I angry? Oh hell yes. Did I bitch and complain and end up insisting on proof that we actually even have overnight security? Yes indeedy. Jon's work GPS was stolen (they busted his window to get to it) and my stereo was stolen (jimmied the lock, so at least I didn't have to replace a window on that one). The thief or thieves that got in my car decided that instead of loosening the ONE measly screw that holds the plastic piece around the stereo on, to just rip the whole damn thing out. So- a piece of plastic that is basically an 8-inch-long rectangle had to be replaced. Wanna guess how much that part cost me? Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway. FORTY BUCKS. Such a rip-off. At any rate, Jon got a new GPS and I got a new stereo, but now I'm freaking out about everything- carrying the face plate of the thing in with me whenever I leave the car, etc. My new system is much nicer, at any rate. I can hook my iPod up through a cord in the glove compartment now. (and yes, I carry that inside with me everywhere I go, too). The shitty thing is that we live in what is considered a nice, safe neighborhood. I suppose that any apartment complex in Va. Beach is going to have some amount of this sort of thing, though- it IS after all a pretty large city. When I get a new car, I'm going to get a big honking security system with it.

So on a side note- I've had this Starbuck's Gift Card from my sister-in-law since before Xmas. I forgot all about it until today, when Jon wanted to go to Barnes and Nobles for a little while. The Starbucks inside of Barnes and Nobles doesn't take Starbucks gift cards! How lame is that?

The weather has been pretty insane lately. It was beautiful all last week (at least what I could see though my pollen-fused, red, swollen allergy eyeballs). On Friday night, it was close to 80 degrees and I was hot in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. We went to the grocery store for like 10 minutes- and when we get back in the parking lot, it's notably colder. I turned the knob on the car heater up, and we get on our merry way home.....and about 2 minutes later......SNOW. It snowed, in Virginia Beach, in MARCH, for about 6 minutes. Granted, it was mushy, melty snow, and of course it didn't stick, but it was crazy nonetheless. Since then, it's been in the 40's and 50's. It's supposed to warm up on Tuesday, which is of course the day Jon goes back to work after having had the two cold days as his days off.

Ugh. I'm just rambling here. I don't really have anything else to say, lol. I just wanted to show off the new purse :)

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Landlocked Blues" by Bright Eyes

Brain's On Fire

2008-03-04T23:51:00.005-05:00

Wow, it's been ages since I've posted. Sorry about that. So....what have I been up to? After a week of being sick with the flu, I ended up eating something off of a salad bar that was contaminated and had food poisoning for four days- soooo not fun. The only good thing about all of that is that I managed to drop 7 lbs. overall. Last week was Jon's 31st birthday, so happy late birthday Jon! We didn't do a whole lot for his birthday, because I was sick, but we did go see Cloverfield finally. For a monster movie, it was pretty rad. The Saturday following, when I was finally feeling better, we went out to Im's Sushi and Such, which is this great little sushi/hibachi place on Virginia Beach Blvd. It was our first time, there, but it won't be our last. The owner/hibachi chef was very entertaining and friendly (he came around to every table to chat between his time at the grill), the food was amazing, and the waitresses were friendly and totally on the ball. Dad and Linda took us out to Freemason Abbey on Sunday night, which wasn't as nice. I remember going to that place years and years ago, and it was excellent- but the quality has dropped big time. My father and I ordered grilled salmon oscar, but when it came out it was severely under-cooked (Dad's was the color and texture of sushi), the toppings were sparse, the asparagus was overcooked and soggy, and we both ordered wild rice for a side but ended up with jasmine rice (completely and totally different from wild rice). We had to ask for silverware and rolls, which were not brought to us even after the salads were served. My stepmother never got salad dressing. Our waitress was slow and we were overcharged. It's disappointing, really, because this used to be such a nice restaurant. Oh well.

I've been poking along on my Booga Bag. I think I just really dislike using circular knitting needles. It's not that I have crappy needles- the needles I have are awesome (the Denise set). It's just I end up holding them completely different than straights or DPNs, I guess, and it's harder on my fingers. At any rate, it makes me want to knit slower, and for not as long. Hopefully I'll soldier through it soon enough, though, because the yarn I'm using is gorgeous and I'm excited about seeing the finished product. Oh! Speaking of knitting, I have one of my patterns in Knitting Pattern Central now, which has completely blown up my blog viewership. Thanks for checking me out, everyone! I've also been added to Knitty Chick's List of Freebie Patterns and Almost Daily Links. Thanks so much to these sites for sharing my patterns.

Since we're talking about people visiting my blog, I was looking through my stat counters the other day and decided to share some of the craziest Google searches that have directed people here:

* Playing Twister Buttcrack
* Spitting in a Wishing Well
* Love Baby Husband
* Candy Plate Tectonics
* Friend Putting me in the Middle- "Love Triangle"
* I'm Maxed Out Like a Credit Card
* Male Hamsters- Infertility
* Pretty Women With Silver Toenails
* Silver Toenail Polish in America
* Shaman Armadillos
* Squishin
* Top 10 Reasons for Ruined Families

There have been more than that, but these are the most recent crazy ones. My favorite is the Shaman Armadillos. I'm imagining little armadillos with staves and long beards performing mystical ceremonies.

A few minutes ago, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. It's about midnight. Ducks, at this time, are usually asleep, right? There was a couple of mallards- female and male- strolling along, occasionally nipping up a cockroach (oh, hold your "ewww's", I live in the South. If you've ever lived in the South, you know that those fuckers are all over the sidewalks and streets at night). It was like they were having a romantic dinner date. All of the ducks around here have such personality- there's one Muscovy duck that struts around in the mornings sometimes who looks like he has a bitchin' pompadour. It's so awesome. I've named him Elvis.

So I bought myself a used Gazelle by Tony Little. It's so much fun! I've been working out on it about a half hour every night while we watch TV. The lady I bought it from didn't have the tape that came with it, so I'm having to sort of make up my own routine on it, but I've figured out how to work my thighs, calves, butt, biceps, triceps, shoulders, and abdomen by doing different things while on it. This is the first piece of exercise equipment that I haven't hated myself for using the next day- I've had no back pain at all and no knee pain, either. Jon's too heavy right now to use it, but he has a 30-day trial membership to the Y, and for his birthday he got some new workout clothes and nice running shoes so I'm hoping he'll get in shape this year, too. His mother emailed me recently to complain to me about Jon's weight- I like how it's immediately my fault that my husband is fat. Like I'm not nagging him about making healthy choices constantly. There's not much more I can do, except hope that he'll get motivated. I hope my mother-in-law can see that eventually.

So, yeah, I sort of ran out of steam here lol. I had all these things I wanted to talk about, but I probably missed half of them. Oh well, maybe I'll remember tomorrow what I meant to say tonight. Thanks for reading!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Ed is Dead" by the Pixies

Top 10 Reasons I Love My Husband

2008-02-14T02:42:00.006-05:00

Internet Lists. My husband adores them. If he's late for work, 4 out of 5 times it's because he is sitting on the sofa in his underwear, glass of orange juice in hand, reading though internet lists on his laptop and completely forgetting what time it is. It doesn't matter what the subject matter is about- it could be anything from "50 greatest scary movie moments" to "Top 10 chain restaurant cheeseburgers" to "10 most poorly designed action figures of all time". If it's on the internet, and it's a list, he loves it. So as my gift to him this Valentine's Day, I've created his very own internet list. I love you, Jon!

Top 10 Reasons I Love My Husband

10. He acts approproiately guilty when I lay a guilt trip on him. Even if it's something mediocre. Especially when it's something major. He's not the kind of guy who gets indignant or angry when I'm feeling especially moody and accusational and feel like making him feel bad for not taking out the garbage or forgetting to set the alarm for me in the morning like I asked.

9. He doesn't get jealous over my friendships with other men. I'm not sure if this is because he just trusts me that much, or because he's met the men I'm friends with and doesn't view them as a threat, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

8. When I'm sick, he freaks out a little bit and tries to take care of me. Even though I've made it clear many times that I hate being taken care of when I'm sick. Even though when he's sick, I tell him to suck it up and stop being a whiny baby. Tonight, he cooked me dinner because I have the flu- granted, I had to sit in the kitchen and tell him how to do everything step-by-step, but it was sweet.

7. He doesn't get pissy if I beat him in video games. I've seriously dated guys who I had to let win all of the time or else their manhood shriveled up and fell off. Jon appreciates that he's better at some things, and I others....and is in some ways, I think, proud that I can pwn noobs in what is more or less his world.

6. He gets along with my family. This may seem like a dumb reason, but my family is completely batshit insane. I've never dated a single person who could stand to be around any member of my family for more than 15 minutes. I've had boyfriends who have purposely tried everything in their power to alienate me from my family just so they wouldn't have to deal with them. Hell, I even dated a guy who fought with my brother so badly it came to physical blows. Jon, on the other hand, is well liked by all of them, and in turn likes them back. I sometimes think my father and brother like him better than they like me.

5. Even though he's not an ambitious person by nature, he works hard to better himself at work and move up the corporate ladder because he's driven to take care of us as a family. I'm seriously proud of him and all of the advances he's made in the past few years.

4. He gets weepy when watching sad movies/shows. I find this incredibly endearing. He cries at stuff I don't even cry over. I think the ending of Cowboy Bebop ruined him for a week.

3. He admits when he's wrong. This fact alone sets him apart from 99% of the men I've known in my life. If he screws up, he apologizes.

2. He always tells me things are going to be all right, even if it feels like they're totally NOT going to be anything NEAR all right. And I believe him. And lo and behold, things generally are, eventually, all right. His optimism over things balences out my extreme pessimism, and for the first time in my life I feel like I can let go of some of my worries.

1. After almost 5 years together, he still kisses me hello everytime he comes in from work and tells me he loves me at the end of every phone conversation. This may seem minor, but to me, it's amazing. No matter what kind of horrible day he's had, he takes those couple of seconds to let me know he's there for me. And because of that, and all of these other reasons (plus many more that didn't make this particular list), I know that I married the best possible man in the world for me, and I don't know what I'd do without him.

Happy Valentine's Day!

* Allison *

Strange and Gauzy Threads

2008-02-06T03:47:00.000-05:00

So....first and foremost,The Cube is finally finished! Check it out, and get your knitting friends to make you one. Meanwhile, I still haven't even played Portal, due to my stubborn refusal to play the Xbox 360 until I get a new computer (a year ago, I was promised a new computer with what was a combination of birthday/Xmas/tax return money we had leftover, but instead Jon decided he NEEDED the Xbox and bought it without consulting me, which has led to the standoff between me and his favorite console). However, I might break down and play it, because I've watched Jon play it over and over again and it's hilarious.

Now, I will be dedicating my knitting time to a pair of socks for Jon, and finishing the ruffled scarf I started a month ago. I also need to order the yarn I want for the Booga Bag that I'm dying to make. Hopefully I'll have the money to do that next week.

So the weather has been AWESOME here the past couple of days. I opened all of the windows this afternoon and loved every second of it. Yesterday we went for a walk around one of the city parks, and today we walked around the lake on our apartment complex grounds. With the way things are laid out here, and the size of my patio, it really feels like a beach neighborhood here. I'm really happy with our location.

Speaking of our patio.....I made the mistake of feeding some stale bread to a wandering Muscovy Duck female two days ago from my patio. Yesterday, she came back at about the same time of day, and brought her enormous male friend. Today, she brought her male friend and another female. I ran out of bread. I'm terrified that tomorrow there will be four hungry, begging ducks sitting on my patio all afternoon.....waiting. And staring. And making that weird hissing noise that Muscovy Ducks do. This is a video of them after the bread ran out this afternoon:

DUCK VIDEO

Please excuse the crappy video quality- Jon was taking still pictures while filming. You can see how interesting all of this is to my cats.

At any rate, not a whole lot else has been going on. We've been laying low the last week, since Jon's job has been INSANE lately. By the time he gets home, we eat dinner, watch a show or two, and he goes to bed. On his days off, he still ends up either on the phone or on his laptop taking care of things for the majority of the day. Although it sucks, and I wish he had more time to spend with me, it has left me with major time to dedicate to leveling up my Balence Druid on WoW lol. I hit level 50 tonight! ZOMG ATTACK TREES!

So that's that. Hopefully I'll have something more exciting to update about one of these days :)

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Gypsy" by Suzanne Vega

Shehitsback's Weighted Companion Cube Knitting Pattern

2008-02-06T01:43:00.000-05:00

At long last, I've finally finished The Cube! Here is the pattern for my version (and please remember that this is for personal use only! )

Shehitsback's Weighted Companion Cube

Finished Measurements:

5 inch cube

Materials:

*1 skein Bernat Berella "4" worsted weight yarn- color "dark oxford"

*1 skein Bernat Cashmere Natural Blends worsted weight yarn- color "petal"

*1 skein Lion Brand Wool-Ease worsted weight yarn- color "grey heather"

(exact amounts unknown, I used just about all of the greys and still had quite a bit of the pink leftover...then again I'm pretty wasteful lol)

*size 3 straight knitting needles

*tapestry needle

*Poly-Fill of some sort of stuffing material.

*patience! There's A LOT of sewing in this pattern.

Gauge:

24 sts./28 rows = 4.5 inches stockinette

Abbreviations:

kfb=knit in front and back of stitch

pfb= purl in front and back of stitch

k2tog= knit two stitches together

p2tog= purl two stitches together

Pattern:

Using the darker grey yarn, CO 24 sts.

Knit stockinette for 28 rows.

Loosely BO.

Repeat 6 times, so that you have 6 dark grey squares.

For smaller pieces, see the following diagram:

Part A:
Using light grey yarn, CO 4 sts.
row 1: knit across
row 2: pfb. purl remaining sts.
row 3: knit across
row 4: pfb. purl remaining sts.
row 5: knit until one st remains. kfb last st on row.
row 6: pfb. purl remaining sts.
row 7: knit until one st remains. kfb last st on row.
row 8: purl across (9 sts)
row 9: knit across.
row 10: purl across.
BO loosely.

Repeat 6 times, sewing into the upper left-hand corners of each of your dark grey squares.

Part B:
Using light grey yarn, CO 4 sts.
row 1: knit across.
row 2: purl until last st. pfb.
row 3: knit across
row 4: purl until last st. pfb.
row 5: kfb. knit remaining sts.
row 6: purl until last st. pfb.
row 7: kfb. knit remaining sts.
row 8: purl across (9 sts.)
row 9: knit across
row 10: purl across
BO loosely.

Repeat 6 times, sewing into the upper right-hand corners of each of your dark grey squares.

Part C:
Using light grey yarn, CO 9 sts.
row 1: knit across
row 2: purl across
row 3: k2tog, knit remainting sts.
row 4: purl until 4 sts. remain. p2tog, p2tog.
row 5: k2tog, knit remaining sts.
row 6: purl across
row 7: k2tog, knit remaining sts.
row 8: purl across
row 9: knit across
row 10: purl across (total 4 sts.)
BO loosely.

Repeat 6 times, sewing into the lower right-hand corners of each of your dark grey squares.

Part D:
Using light grey yarn, CO 9 sts.
row 1: knit across
row 2: purl across
row 3: knit until 2 sts. remain. k2tog.
row 4: p2tog, p2tog, purl remaining sts.
row 5: knit until 2 sts. remain. k2tog.
row 6: purl across.
row 7: knit until 2 sts. remain. k2tog.
row 8: purl across.
row 9: knit across.
row 10: purl across (total 4 sts.)
BO loosely.

Repeat 6 times, sewing into the bottom left-hand corners of each of your dark grey squares.

Parts E & G:
these parts are the same.
Using light grey yarn, CO 4 sts.
row 1: knit across
row 2: purl across
BO loosely.

Repeat 12 times, sewing onto the upper and lower middle edges of each of your dark grey squares.

Parts F & H:
these parts are the same.
Using light grey yarn, CO 3 sts.
row 1: knit across
row 2: purl across
row 3: knit across
row 4: purl across
BO loosely.

Repeat 12 times, sewing onto the left and right middle edges of each of your dark grey squares.

Part I:
Using light grey yarn, CO 4 sts.
row 1: kfb, knit 2, kfb.
row 2: pfb, purl 4, pfb.
row 3: kfb, knit 6, kfb.
row 4: purl across.
row 5: kfb, knit 8, kfb.
row 6: purl across.
row 7: knit across.
row 8: purl across.
row 9: k2tog, knit 8, k2tog.
row 10: purl across.
row 11: k2tog, knit 6, k2tog.
row 12: p2tog, purl 4, p2tog.
row 13. k2tog, knit 2, k2tog.
BO loosely.

Repeat 6 times, and set aside for later.

Part J:
this is a little more tricky- you will be starting off casting on from two seperate ends of your skein, and joining them in the next row.

Using the beginning of your pink skein, CO 2 sts.
on SAME NEEDLE, use the end of your skein and CO 2 more sts.
Now we'll start using only one of those threads to knit with, joining the two cast-ons.

row 1: kfb, kfb. using same yarn, continue on to second cast-on and kfb, kfb.
row 2: purl across.
row 3: k2tog, knit 4, k2tog.
row 4: purl across.
row 5: k2tog, k2tog.
row 6: purl across. (2 sts.)
BO loosely, and pull your threads tight at the CO edge so that the top of this piece resembles the top of a heart.

Repeat 6 times, sewing your pink hearts into the centers of your light grey circles (Part I).

Sew completed Part I + J's into the centers of your dark grey squares.

Now, for the pink lines.

Thread your tapestry needle with pink yarn. Starting in the center inner-edge of one of your small grey pieces, bring your yarn through from wrong side to right side. In a staight line heading towards the center grey circle, sew overhand about 2 sts. long from right side to wrong side. come back towards your starting point about halfway- and bring your needle up through the center of your first stitch. Repeat until you reach the edge of the center circle. Do this for each of the four sides of each square. This method makes your lines look "knitted" or "braided".

Now that each of your 6 sides of the cube are finished, sew them together end to end like this:

Make sure you use light grey yarn to sew together the light grey parts, and dark grey yarn to sew together the dark grey parts.

From here, start sewing the ends so that you have all but one flap of the cube sewn together.

Stuff the cube with poly-fill or a stuffing material of your choice. I put a small fabric bag filled with rice at the center of mine, to give it weight, and then stuffed poly-fill around that to flesh it out. Sew down the remaining flap.

Hooray! You're finally finished! After all of that hard work, you deserve cake. Too bad the CAKE IS A LIE.

Thanks for checking out my pattern!

* Allison *

Weighted Companion Cube Update

2008-01-19T15:21:00.000-05:00

I've had a few emails from people interested in my pattern for the Weighted Companion Cube. I just wanted to let you all know that I DO plan on posting my pattern as a free pattern, just as soon as I'm finished with the project and work out some kinks. I hope to have it written up and posted here within a couple of weeks, so please stay tuned! Thanks again for the interest!

* Allison *

Take it Slow

2008-01-16T13:22:00.000-05:00

This working out stuff is HARD. I knew I was out of shape, but I had no idea just how out of shape. I just got back from the "gym" (my apartment complex has it's own gym, sauna, whirlpool, solarium, and two pools...jealous yet?)- Jon and I had gone about 4 days ago, and he showed me how to use the weight training thingy (yeah, I don't know what it's called. Total Gym? Is that what it is? I'm not sure, it's the thing with the 4 or 5 different stations that you can do about a billion different weight training exercises on). I decided today that I would start going solo as often as possible, hopefully about 4 or 5 times a week. I started with a half of a mile on the treadmill, gradually building up the speed and then bringing it down. I don't run. Ever. As in, if zombies were chasing me, I would still only power walk. So the highest speed I could get up to without having to run was about 4 mph. I don't know if that's good or bad. After my 1/2 mile, I spent 5 minutes on the elliptical, but my thighs are still hurting from the LAST time I tried to work out on that thing, so I couldn't get more than 5 minutes out of that. From there, I went to the weight station and did two reps of 8 of 5 different exercises that target my arms, shoulders, and back- then did everything over again. I spent about 45 minutes there- not bad for a second time in years, right? For those of you who do this sort of thing everyday, is this a good routine, or should I change the order up? I really want to lose about 25 lbs. before bathing suit season. I'm also hoping that this will help improve my posture, since I noticed that when I'm exercising I have awesome posture....when I'm sitting around doing nothing, not so much.

Not a whole lot else has been going on. Jon's working crazy hours, I'm getting mad knitting done (when I'm not too busy sitting here on the computer staring at what amounts to more or less nothing), the apartment is clean, the cats are lazy, and I've been in a pretty good mood for the last two days.

Anyway- I'm off to take a shower, and possibly a nap.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "12-51" by The Strokes

Things Pile Up

2008-01-14T22:47:00.000-05:00

Well, my birthday has come and gone. It wasn't as difficult to deal with this one as it was the last- at 27, I was leaving the "mid-20's". At 28, I'm already firmly in the middle of the "late-20's", so there wasn't a big deal. I had all of these huge plans for yesterday, but they didn't all work out. Regardless, it was a nice day.

Jon and I had planned on spending the day mostly outdoors, but the weather was crappy. We wanted to go to Waterside, take the ferry to Old Towne in Portsmouth, walk around, have lunch, etc., come back to Norfolk, do a little shopping, eat dinner in Ghent at Orapax, and come home to go out to Steppin' Out with some friends for karaoke. Because it was drizzling (and because we missed the ferry by 2 minutes and I didn't want to stand in the cold and wait for a half an hour for the next one) we ended up skipping Portsmouth and headed over to MacArthur Center mall for lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen instead. We walked around for a while, I used some of my birthday money to buy a few little things, and we left. We ended up going to the Chrysler Museum of Art, which was nice. I hadn't been there in years, and Jon had never been. Unfortunately, quite a few of the exhibits were closed for renovation, so we didn't get to see everything. But, overall, a nice way to spend a couple of hours. From there, we went to the Tropical Smoothie Cafe for smoothies, and decided we had no idea what else to do in Norfolk until dinner time and scrapped our dinner plans to head home for a while. I looked online for Greek Restaurants that were closer to home, and found decent reviews for a place called The Street Cook, so we decided to try it. It was incredibly cute inside, the waitress was super friendly, and the food was great. It was a little pricey, but for a special occasion dinner it wasn't bad. Unfortunately I wasn't hungry enough for dessert at the time, so I'm going to have to talk Jon into going back one of these days so I can get a piece of baklava. From there, we went to Steppin' Out, hoping that a lot of our friends would be there. I invited everyone on my friends list from myspace, and though I didn't expect a ton of people to come out, I was hoping a few would at least. My friend JR and his friend Joanna came out, and my best friend Shelby, and our friends John and Jenn. That was it. Of the people who were there, not a single one of them is brave enough to karaoke with me, so I more or less was singing by myself. Jon eventually got up there, but it took a table full of people begging him. I was pretty bummed that hardly anyone wanted to celebrate my birthday with me, but the people who DID come were people I really enjoy spending time with so I suppose I should be glad that I got quality over quantity.

I forgot to take my camera with us anywhere we went, but I did take a couple of pictures of a few of the gifts I received this year. My mother sent me one of those memory foam pillows, and I didn't take a picture of it because, well, it just looks like a pillow lol. it's very comfortable, though. Dad and Linda gave me a puzzle box shaped like a cat with a pair of garnet earrings in it:

Jon's gift to me was the outfit I wore yesterday, which I forgot to take pictures of before I put everything in the laundry. I wore a pair of wide-legged denim colored trousers, a black blouse, and a dark red and black brocade jacket. I also wore heels, which was not something I normally do and I have the blisters to prove it lol. He also bought me a few little things in the Sanrio Store in MacArthur Center, and some perfume from the Body Shop:

My In-laws sent me two balls of Premier Yarn's Flamenco yarn in the bright pink color, and a ruffled scarf pattern to go with it. I've already started the scarf:

It's a strange knit- you don't wrap the yarn, instead you sort of knit the edge of one piece of yarn into another edge, while the rest of the yarn lays flat to form the ruffle. It's pretty fun.

Speaking of knitting, I have several things going on right now. I started one of Jon's socks finally, though I don't have any current pictures of it. I've also been working on a Weighted Companion Cube for JR, which I've sort of been winging because although there is an intarsia pattern out there that is very nice, I wanted to knit each piece separately to add a more 3-D effect. Here's the first side completed:

Plus, of course, there's the birthday scarf....and I recently bought two skeins of sock yarn that I'm dying to get into...so I really need to start setting aside more time for knitting so I can finish everything up and start that bag I wanted to do.

At any rate, I don't have much else to report. I've been obsessed with craigslist lately, as I'm looking for a new (or new to me) dining room table and some bar stools, as well as patio furniture for the new apartment. Jon and I promised each other that we'd get serious about working out this year, and so far we've each been to the gym a grand total of one time. Hopefully, we'll stop being lazy soon. So, yeah, not the most exciting post, but hey.....lots of pictures!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Little Things" by Ida

Heavy Thoughts Tonight

2007-12-24T01:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I'll start out with the big bummer news....my pet hamster, Kostya, passed away this evening from wet tail :( It was heart wrenching- more so than I expected. I thought that I had managed to not get too attached, as I kept telling myself that he was a hamster and had a short life expectancy anyway- but I cried. I miss his crazy little antics. He died in my hands, after collapsing on the floor of his cage. I'm trying to feel good knowing that his last 2 days were filled with his favorite treats and comfortable, clean bedding in his nest, but I still feel awful. Jon and I have discussed getting two Russian Dwarfs in a few months, since their less susceptible to the disease and the pet store up the street has babies that will be ready for sale soon- but I don't know. One of my cats who had really bonded with Kostya is grieving. It's so sad. She's been moping around and sleeping near the table his cage used to sit on.

In other news, it's been just an awful week all around. One of my cats has roundworm, so we have her quarantined until after her second dose of de-worming medicine so that the other two don't get in her litter box. Jon's been working 10-12 hour days all week long, and I've been busy as hell around the house taking care of sick pets and trying to get the last few things unpacked and put away (still isn't finished. Jon has several boxes of computer crap I don't have any idea what to do with). I've also been fighting with my mom about some really retarded stuff, but we made up this morning.

I've been knitting a hat for my nephew, which I'm almost finished with. I'll post pictures in a few days when it's finished (I haven't had a ton of time to knit, so it's taking way longer than it should have). It's just a simple ribbed hat, but I think it looks pretty nice. I still have to make Jon the socks I was supposed to start months ago, and I've promised to attempt knitting a weighted companion cube for my friend JR, and I REALLY want to make this purse soon, too.

So it's Christmas time. We have a party to go to on Christmas Eve evening, and I think we're going to a buffet on Christmas afternoon with my dad, step mom, and my step mom's dad and step mom. Jon and I spent this evening watching Scrooged, which I hadn't seen in years. We plan on watching Emmit Otter's Jugband Christmas and The Muppet's Christmas Carol tomorrow, and probably Die Hard and A Christmas Story and possibly Santa Claus Conquers The Martians on Christmas day. Sometimes I wonder if it's a good thing we don't have kids, we have weird holiday traditions. Nothing beats sitting on the sofa in pajamas watching movies all day- and eating Japanese food for dinner, which we may not get to do this year depending on how much we eat at the buffet that afternoon. Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it, and Happy Holidays to those who celebrate one of the other holidays this season.

Anyway, it's late and I've had a rough day, so I guess it's bedtime for me.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Enter Sandman" by Metallica

Our Lives are Strangely Our Own

2007-12-14T13:34:00.000-05:00

Well, we finally made it to Virginia Beach. The move was stressful, but I guess considering the amount of time we had to do it in, and the distance of the move itself, we did pretty well. The apartment is smaller than what we're used to, but it's in a great location, the kitchen is awesome (tons of cabinets, a bar, etc.) and our back porch is HUGE. Right now the only problems left to solve are getting 3 bedrooms worth of furniture to fit into two bedrooms, and getting Best Buy HR to stop fucking with Jon's paycheck and give us what we're owed (they "forgot" to pay Jon his vacation pay from Thanksgiving, and when we finally got that straightened out, they didn't pay him for the 40-hr week following that, so we're still fighting to get this taken care of.) Blah. Meanwhile, the weather here is awesome- it's been in the 60s and 70s and sunny since we moved here. We've had the windows open, which is wonderful to be able to do in December. The cats have adjusted surprisingly well, as have Jon and I. He's still getting used to where everything is, but he's learning.

In other news, I'm still looking for a part-time job, but I think I'll hold off until after Xmas to really get serious about it. I just want to work a couple of days a week- enough to really speed up paying off our debt- so that once we're debt-free we can buy a house with no worries. I'm not sure what I want to even try to do. I'm still supposed to be doing design freelance for my friend Greg's tile company, but that won't be set up and ready to go for a little while more. I want to start selling some of my older paintings and drawings, but I need to take professional looking photos first. I set up an account on fineartamerica.com but I haven't posted anything yet. I'll post a link once I have some things ready to show there. Ideally, I'd like to find a yarn store to work part-time in, or something like that- there are several in the area, but I haven't been to check them out yet. I could always try to go back to Target, but I'm not really excited about that idea (except for the discounts lol). Mom keeps suggesting that I get a seasonal job with the National Parks Service (which is who she works for) down at the park who's new name I can't remember but what used to be Seashore State Park. That might be cool. I used to know a few people that were park rangers down there, I wonder if they still work there. I'll have to find out.

We still don't have everything unpacked, or a new phone number, and there are a million things to do and buy for the new place, but it's coming along well. Jon's leaving for training on Sunday and won't be home until Thursday. I hope to have everything mostly finished by then- and also maybe get some knitting done. I still need to make a hat for my youngest nephew, and a pair of socks for Jon. I'd really like to get my easels set up in a decent spot, too, as I'm starting to really feel like painting again, which is exciting.

I'll probably post some pictures of the new place in the next week or so, if you're interested. I need to find where I packed the camera still lol.

Anyway- kind of another boring update, but I felt like I'd better write something so people didn't think I got lost somewhere in the mountains of West Virginia on the drive here from Kentucky or something haha.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Mr. Ambulance Driver" by the Flaming Lips

Move Into a Place

2007-11-27T00:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been back from my Thanksgiving vacation for a few days now, and I don't have very much to report about the trip itself. We drove as far as Asheville, NC on Tuesday, stayed in a horrible hotel that night, and drove on to Myrtle Beach the next day. We stayed in a pretty nice hotel that night, spent some time with Jon's family, went back to their place the next day and stayed in the worst hotel of all that night, then drove all the way home on Friday, getting back at 1am. Everyone got along more or less, no one's feelings got hurt that I know of, and the drive was uneventful.

Since we've been back, we've run into trouble and more trouble over the whole moving issue. We're moving to Virginia Beach (my hometown) on Dec. 8th, and we have finally secured an apartment there, but it took a lot of work (and money). Apparently, the credit check they ran on us came back with 4 rather large charges that Jon and I didn't know about or remember- and before we could be approved for the apartment, we had to pay them off. So....we spent all of the money we had set aside for the move itself (moving truck, security deposit, pet deposit, first month's rent, gas, etc) on repaying old debts. Now, we're broke, and have to borrow in order to actually move. We looked into a bank loan, but the interest rate is outrageous, so my dad offered to lend us some money, but his terms are a little weird so I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking that the bank loan would be the better idea, only because a) paying off that loan will help build positive credit, and b) I won't owe the bank any favors. However, borrowing from my dad will be paid off more quickly, so I'm not sure what we should do. At any rate, this is boring. I'm just wicked stressed out.

We have 12 days to pack everything up and be ready to leave....and no boxes. Jon keeps forgetting to get boxes. I have piles of crap waiting to be boxed all over the place. We donated about 8 bags full of clothes, shoes, and accessories to Goodwill so far- we decided it was ridiculous to keep lugging around clothes we haven't fit into in years from apartment to apartment "just in case" we magically lose enough weight to fit into them. Besides, if I ever do lose weight, I'll be so excited I'll want new clothes to show it off, not 4 year old outdated crap lol.

At any rate, I don't have anything interesting to report. I'm tired, my back hurts, and I have a zillion things to do before the move.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Pure Denizen of the Citizens Band" by Frank Black

What It's Like Back Home

2007-11-08T02:29:00.000-05:00

This week has been extremely fast and wicked slow at the same time. None of these past few days have really felt like the days they were supposed to be, do you know what I mean? It's not been a bad week, at all, actually, just strange. It's nice to be out of Mercury Retrograde, things seem to be looking up.

I got a job offer today, doing something that actually fits me. This guy I know from way back when in like 10th or 11th grade- he sat next to me in typing class- owns this tile company, and has recently started a side project making mosaic tile tables and mirrors and the like. So he needs a freelance designer, and I need occasional spending money, so I'll be sending him mosaic templates to use. I'm pretty excited. So basically, anyone who says myspace is a shitty networking site is totally wrong lol.

Meanwhile, Jon has applied for a Field Marshall position that opened up in Virginia Beach. There are so many reasons why I would love it if he got that job....I grew up in Virginia Beach, and there are a million things I miss about it- awesome restaurants, the ocean, convenience, the absence of country accent, old friends, some of my family- but there are a lot of cons, too. There is a group of people there that remind me of some of the worst times of my life who I'd absolutely hate to run into again. There are places that hold horrifying memories. Overall, though, I think I'd be ecstatic if Jon got the job. Kentucky and I have finished being friends. Things got really stupid here, and fast.

I started knitting myself a new pair of socks the other day, and I'm nearly finished with the cuff of the first one. I don't have pictures yet, but the yarn is absolutely gorgeous. It's a self-striping sock yarn from Knit Picks called "Peacock Multi". It's a combination of bright aqua, dark purple, and forest green. So rad. I was going to work on a pair of socks for Jon, but I bought a new pair of Doc Marten's mary janes last week and now I am in desperate need of awesome socks. I was talking to my friend Julian today on Gtalk (how cool is it that I can call a friend in a foreign country and talk for 45 minutes for free?!) and he suggested that I start using my knitting skills to sculpt- his suggestion specifically was dolls, but I've been really giving it some thought this afternoon. It might be really cool to do something on a large scale. I'm going to have to work on some ideas. I really feel like I need to get back into creating art, and the idea of craft as art really appeals to me.

Anyway, I need to get some sleep before I pass out at the computer.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Rags to Rags" by The Eels

Colors Getting Brighter

2007-11-05T09:54:00.001-05:00

I finally finished my shrug! The pattern is from Fitted Knits by Stephanie Japel. Here's some pictures:

I don't' really have anything else to update on currently. I mean, I could probably come up with something, but I don't really feel like it lol.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Gold Lion" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Keep My Head Up

2007-11-01T00:26:00.000-05:00

Well, there is a new member of the Campbell household. His name is Konstantin Dimitrievitch (I'm calling him Kostya for short), and he is a very fluffy, very adorable hamster.

This is the only picture of him I have so far where he isn't burrowed or running around so fast he's blurry. So why in the world did I get a hamster? I didn't ever WANT to get a hamster, but, like my last pet, he found me. I went outside to smoke a few nights ago, and noticed that there was a strange ball of white fluff running around really fast to avoid being caught by a very large, very mean-looking orange feral cat. I shooed the cat away, and the ball of fluff ran to my shoe to cower beside it. It was Kostya. I picked him up and checked him over for scratches or marks or anything else, and he was perfectly fine, so I carried him over closer to my back porch because the feral cats don't come near the door. I put him sort of under a bush, and he ran around a little bit and I went inside. I felt terribly guilty for leaving him out there, it was supposed to get to 29 degrees that night (which it did) and he was soaking wet from all of the grass dew he'd collected in his hair.....not to mention the feral cats that run the show in the woods just outside the lawn....so I fretted over it for another hour, inside- wondering if maybe I should at least take him to the humane society or something- and went back out to look for him.

I didn't have to look far- he was sitting in the center of my porch, on his hind legs, looking at me when I opened the door. I more or less melted. I couldn't turn him over to the humane society, who would most likely end up having to euthanize him.....he was too cute for that. So, I brought him in. My cats were much less interested in him than I feared- and still are. They watch him when he runs around in his exercise ball, but don't seem to view him as "food" so that's good. I posted a note on the apartment door asking if anyone had lost their pet, and contacted the rental office, but after two days no one came forward so now he lives with us.

In other news, Halloween has come and gone, and I wasn't excited about it at all. I remember when it used to be my favorite holiday....now I just try to come up with ways of avoiding being home for a few hours so we can dodge trick-or-treaters. I don't know if it's because I've gotten older, or because I don't really have any desire to get dressed up and drink with the people we're friends with here. Maybe if we move, I'll feel differently. Everything here just seems like a hassle sometimes. Not always- but a lot. Jon's not happy here, and it makes everything less exciting.

I guess we're supposed to go out either this weekend or next, I can't remember what Jon said, with some of the guys from corporate which might be fun. We had a pretty good time last time we went out with them. Speaking of Geek Squad, Jon's trying to pressure me into applying for a job as a CIA, but I'm not really trying to look into a full time job right now. Maybe when the holidays are over, I'll consider working part-time somewhere, but I'm not sure yet. The idea sort of irks the hell out of me.

So this past cycle was my last cycle of supposed "super fertility" from the HSG I had a while back. I did not get pregnant. This means I'm giving up for now, more or less.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Autumn Shade" by The Vines

Show No Mercy

2007-10-24T00:11:00.000-05:00

Where to start?

I suppose I'll begin my post with the Story of the Unfortunate Haircut. I decided to go in for a trim last Friday- my usual stylist wasn't in, so I settled for the woman who WAS there....and after trying to explain several times over the din of her screaming 10-month-old son that I just wanted about a half an inch off of the back and sides, and a * slight * trim on my bangs, just enough to shape up the existing style, She set to work. I should also state for the record that I asked at LEAST three times for her to use a razor rather than scissors, but she picked up the scissors anyway and I let it go thinking that maybe you can't trim with a razor or something (what the hell do I know, I didn't go to beauty school...) At any rate, I couldn't see the back, and as far as I could tell from running my hands through it, it was more or less acceptable. She confirmed that I only wanted a little bit off of my bangs- enough to keep them from stabbing me in the eye, but not so much that I lose the style. I close my eyes, and CHOP! all of my bangs on one side are gone. I open my eyes, and mutter something low and nonsensical in disbelief. The stylist asks me "Is it not short enough?" Inside of my head, I'm screaming "Of course it's short enough, you fat bitch, you took off at least 3 inches!!!!" but all I'm able to actually say is "I guess the only thing you can do to fix this is to even it out, at least." At this point, her kid starts screaming again, I'm desperate to get out of there, and She tells me she's finished. I tell myself the whole way home that I can fix this, I just need to get home with my products and hairbrush and work at it. Two days later, I'm convinced that it is horrendously un-fixable. So, after taking Ruth's advice, I called the salon and asked to speak to the manager (who is the woman who cut my hair before, and made it look awesome). She made an appointment for me today, and offered to fix it herself for free. She evened it all out (with a razor), since apparently the crappy stylist made a huge mess of the back, as well. She did the best she could, given what she was left to work with, offered up some styling advice, gave me a free container of styling mud, and I left happy, finally. So basically, my hair is WAY shorter than I anticipated, and I don't have the long, side-swept bangs that I loved from the last cut, but I'm hoping it'll look okay anyway. The point of all of this is: don't be afraid to call and complain.

Aside from that, things have just been.....bizarre.....lately. I'd like to pretend that it's all Mean Old Mercury's fault, but I know that even his trip retrograde isn't enough to account for the sheer amount of Crazy that has been unleashed on Louisville and beyond. Thankfully, I've been able to separate myself from those proven to be completely and utterly batshit insane. I really don't need or want a bunch of bullshit drama in my life, I get enough of that from my family. Speaking of which....

I guess my grandmother bought a house and is moving out from her current home, in the apartment my mother spent two years and over $100K building on to her house for her and my grandfather. The reason? Oh, just another case of BATSHIT INSANE. Basically, my dead-beat, drug-addled uncle shows up at my mom's house, and moves in. He's been there, despite threats to have him removed, for I think 2 months now? Rather than asking him to leave because it was causing problems with EVERYONE else in my family, my grandmother decided to buy a house with money she doesn't really have so that he can continue to live with her and sponge off of her indefinitely. Hooray. I'm really upset and disappointed about this, but I don't suppose it's really my place to express that.

Jon's doing well at work this week, at least. His team was in the Top Five for Geek Squad City today. Yay Jon! He's been working so hard, and I know he's not exactly thrilled with the way the job is going lately- but he's really stuck it out and been proactive, so I'm proud of him. That doesn't mean I don't want him to leave GSC as fast as he can if he can score a job with Google when they open their facility in South Carolina next year, though. :)

Of course, my upcoming trip to South Carolina may change my mind. I'm not really a huge fan of the Carolinas, in general, nor am I fan of using vacation time to visit relatives, but it'll be Thanksgiving so I suppose I'll make do for the sake of the holidays. We're going to visit Jon's parents, sister, and nephews (well, two nephews, David won't be home from training yet). We will be staying in a hotel in Myrtle Beach, though, so that may make this trip more enjoyable than I originally expected. We plan on driving out of here that Monday, stopping in Asheville, NC, for the night and maybe doing some shopping, finishing up our trek to SC on Tues., checking in at Myrtle Beach, driving out to his parent's house, spending our days with them and our nights at the beach until Friday, them coming home via either Asheville again or somewhere in Tennessee, depending. At any rate, all of this is depending on whether or not Jon remembers to make reservations this week like I asked him to. I think that we'll be spending Christmas alone this year, which will be nice. We spent it last year with my family, and with his family seeing us at Thanksgiving instead, we'll be off the hook for Xmas relative entertaining (unless my dad surprises us with something). It seems weird to be thinking about the holidays already.

Anyway, that's really all I have for now. It's raining for the millionth day in a row, and I'm exhausted.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Bad Days" by The Flaming Lips

Kick Off the Sandflies

2007-10-12T23:46:00.001-05:00

Well, I survived my trip to Florida. Barely. I think it would have been awesome if I hadn't been visiting family, with family. Pensacola is really nice. It was wonderful and heartbreaking to be near the ocean (or in this case, I guess it was the gulf, but close enough) again....I forgot how much I need to be in the salt air. It's been hard being so far away after growing up in a beach town. But anyway- yeah. I never feel as insecure or insignificant as when I'm with both my sister and mother at the same time- they have a way of interrupting me or ignoring everything I say, or jumping all over my shit for things they don't agree with or misinterpret. Everything from suggesting we buy a carry-on bag for the plane since my mom and I had way too much stuff to fit into our luggage, or asking if it was okay to order a pizza for dinner since for the third night in a row they were eating shellfish, which I'm allergic to, caused enormous fights and accusations aimed towards me. My back is killing me, since my choices for sleeping arrangements were an air mattress that goes flat after 20 minutes of laying on it or a love seat about 2 feet too short for me. I got one night on a bed, at the Beau Rivage resort in Biloxi, but my mom coughed and tossed and turned so much all night I barely slept. At any rate, I'm home now, which is awesome, and I hope I'm not expected to go anywhere else overnight until Thanksgiving, when I guess Jon and I are going to visit his family for a few days. If you want to see vacation photos, there are a few on my flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/shehitsback/

I didn't finish my shrug in time to take with me, and it's so big now that I didn't bring it to work on there. I did start a new pair of socks for Jon while I was there, but I'm not very far along. While I was knitting on the plane, some nice little old lady came down the aisle and grabbed my shoulder and said "Are you knitting socks?!" My mom rolled her eyes, but I thought it was rad that another knitter stopped by.

So I don't think Jon got the job in Minnesota that he applied for, or at least he doesn't feel like he did- which I'm kind of happy about. Not that I'm dying to stay in Louisville, because I'm so not...but because I just don't get a super feeling about moving to Minneapolis, either. It's so COLD there....and expensive. If we're going to have to pay $1300 for an apartment the same size as the one we're currently paying $700 for, I'd rather it be somewhere where I can go to the beach when I want to.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "You Turn Me On, I'm a Radio" by Joni Mitchell

Turns to Ice

2007-09-29T02:41:00.000-05:00

So it's been about a week I guess...I was about halfway through with the back/collar of my shrug tonight at Barnes and Noble where I was drinking a luke-warm pumpkin spice latte while Jon wrote up a proposal for some training program at work, and my Denise interchangeable needle, that I admittedly was twisting and yanking on quite a bit, separated from the joiner I had holding two sections together and I lost a ton of stitches. Luckily, I just had to frog the collar so I only have to cast that part back on but man. Hours of work, gone. I'm not sure if I'm going to have this finished for my trip next week or not, which sucks.

Yeah, I leave for Florida on the 6th, where I will visit my sister and her husband. I'm starting to get kind of excited.

It's freaking cold here right now! The outdoor thermometer says it's 45.5 degrees F. Crazy. I guess it really is Fall. I need to buy more cold-weather clothes.

So my car gets taken to the tire place tomorrow morning to get two new tires. If it's not one thing with that piece of shit, it's another. I wish I could just buy a new car.

I kind of feel like drawing tonight, but it's so late right now. Me and Artistic Expression haven't been chummy lately. Last time I picked up a paintbrush, I spent two days freaking out about lead poisoning. I'm just under so much stress right now- between my family going pyscho over the whole drunken uncle coming to live with them out of nowhere situation, and worrying about my sister who seems so lonely lately, and guilt trips from my in-laws, and the whole infertility thing (which I'm trying to ignore, but it seems like it KEEPS getting brought up by friends and family members lately) and a handful of bad dreams, random health issues, my car.....not to mention little things like worrying about the way Rin and Hachi (two of my three cats, in case you didn't remember) have been fighting lately, and the fact that I can't seem to clean the carpet often enough cause Hachi is so anxious she's having a lot of accidents, and Jon's being worried about his team's job performance....etc., etc., etc. it's been kind of building up lately. I was doing okay with most of it for a long time, but I'm starting to get a little burdened feeling. If you have a problem, don't come to me. I can't take it on right now. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't consider going back on Zoloft. I'm getting sort of hostile feeling, and melancholy, and a little bit paranoid.

Blah.

It'll be good to go on vacation.

Oh! And oh my god, did you see this? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070929/ap_on_he_me/killer_amoeba

Brain eating amoebas! Be careful if you go swimming in lakes or ponds.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Have You Forgotten" by The Red House Painters

We Want Something Good

2007-09-22T11:56:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since I last blogged. I guess I'll start off with a Two-Toned Ribbed Shrug progress report:

I still have to finish the right sleeve and seam it up, and then pick up all of the stitches for the collar and back. I'm pretty pleased with it so far, this is a really cute pattern.

In other news, I'm going to Pensacola to see my sister with my mom in less than two weeks. We'll be taking a day trip from there to Biloxi, MS, to stay here: Beau Rivage Resort and Casino. I'm pretty excited, even though gambling with my mom is kind of crazy. She's completely unlucky, but she insists on playing for HOURS.

I'm going to Caesar's tonight with Jon and our friend Pam- last time Jon and I went, we won 70 bucks so hopefully we'll be as lucky this time. Also going to do some karaoke tonight and eat pizza. Hooray!

In World of Warcraft news, me and a guild mate are starting an arena team soon, so that should be exciting.

So, did I mention last time that Jon and I are sort of dieting? We're on that "soup diet", kind of. We eat soup for dinner 5 nights out of the week, with a bowl of cereal for breakfast and some sort of high-protein lunch (for me it's been microwave peanut satay or tuna salad, I'm not exactly sure what he's been eating but I hope it's somewhat healthy). The other two days we eat "normal" food, but try to keep it somewhat healthy or at least containing lots of veggies. At any rate, we've been doing this for about 3 weeks now, and there have been results! I've lost 4 lbs., and he's gone down about 7lbs. The great thing is that we both like soup enough that we're not sick of it yet lol. I went and bought Better Homes and Garden's Biggest Book of Soups & Stews, which has hundreds of recipes and lists the nutritional content for each one, so we're going to try to make a few new homemade soups rather then relying entirely on the varieties that the Progresso Weight Watcher's Soups and Campbell's Healthy Choice lines have to offer. We're also continuing to do yoga every evening, which Jon is getting much better at, and I'm attempting to do at least 30 minutes of cardio every other day. That, and now that the weather's nice again, we've been going places and walking around more.

At any rate, that's about all I have to blog about. There's been a ton of stuff going on, but mostly family matters/issues/stresses so nothing I'm really going to share with you :) Thanks for reading!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Buena" by Morphine

The Grim Particulars

2007-09-07T00:48:00.000-05:00

I never know how to start these things. Especially when there are really non-related topics I want to go over, all together, in one blog.

First of all, I've spent the last two days in terror that I had lead poisoning. I pulled out my paints and a canvas and started painting for the first time in a long time, only to realize that one of the whites I use regularly, Flake White (it's shitty paint, but I love the texture), has lead in it. I started thinking about all of the times I've used this paint, and for what span of time, and started freaking out. I put away all of my paints, and called my doctor, who of course is out of town this week. So, I left two messages for the on-call doctors at his office, and finally got a response today. I blurted out something like "Dr. Scobee has been seeing me for infertility and we couldn't find an explanation as to why I'm infertile and I was thinking and I've been painting with oils for a really long time like maybe 17 years or so and some of the colors I've used over the years have contained lead but I didn't realize it until now and I've never been good about ventilation or washing my hands really well before I eat when I'm in 'painting mode' and oh God I probably have lead poisoning will I get sick? Should you test me? Is this why I can't have babies? Will I get cancer? I didn't think I'd have to suffer for my art THIS much". I then stopped to take a breath, and heard an audible sigh on the other end of the line. The doctor clearly thought I was fucking insane. She told me that there were no studies that she was aware of linking lead exposure to female infertility, though it has been proven to affect sperm count and motility. She told me I shouldn't worry about it. Told me to be careful around lead paint, and hung up. So that's what I've been freaking out over lately.

Aside from that, I've had this horrible feeling of dread since Wednesday. I was sitting in the living room, and suddenly got a chill and the whole room smelled like my dead grandfather's aftershave out of no where. Then, it disappeared and for about two hours, I had this heavy feeling in my chest. I started to worry that something was wrong with my dad and stepmother, so I called his cell phone and their house phone. No one answered, or called me back. I can't remember if they're out of town this week or not, I know that they were going to Vegas soon and that Linda had a conference in Boston sometime this month, but I never know where they are when. I called my sister yesterday to see if she had "felt" anything weird, and she tells me that she'd been thinking about how horrible it would be for her and I to have to sort through all of their stuff when they died (my dad is like the epitome of "pack rat"). So that was sort of weird. Anyway, I'm trying not to worry about them, I'm waiting until Saturday to start calling again, since it's Linda's birthday and they'll be expecting a call from me anyway. I really really really hope that they're okay and just being evasive about the phone.

In better news, Jon applied for a civil service job today- we won't know if he's being considered for 45 days from tomorrow. It's an IT regional management job with the Office of Business Administration. I don't know if he really has a chance, the job was only posted as open for application for a week, and usually that means they already have someone in mind, but even if he doesn't get it at least now he has the standard government application form filled out already and has practice in applying to them.

I'm coming along with my two-toned fitted shrug. I've finished most of the back and half of the left sleeve. I'm so bored with stockinette stitch right now, that I'm having a hard time getting myself to work on it. Once I get to the ribbed edges, I'll enjoy it more I'm sure. I think it's going to be really cute when it's finished.

At any rate, that's pretty much all I have to say for now. I've had other things going on probably, but I can't think of them right now. Thanks for checking in :)

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Collapsing Stars" by The Mountain Goats

There Was a Cloud and Then It Parted

2007-09-01T18:40:00.000-05:00

Whew, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I've been feeling pretty down about the whole infertility thing, and a few other problems that have come up- mostly family issues- but I'm doing my best to pull through it all. Not very much has been happening, otherwise.

I got my hair cut today! I'd been thinking about chopping it all off again for a while now, but I hadn't found "The Cut". After searching through literally thousands of hairstyle pictures online, I finally found one I loved, printed it out, and brought it to my stylist this afternoon, and I think she did a pretty great job of recreating it. I only took one picture today, but I'm sure more will get posted to my Myspace sometime soon. Here's the one picture I took:

Also today, I finally got Jon to commit to doing yoga with me daily. I do it on my own once in a while, but I have a hard time motivating myself to do it lately. It's much easier for me to motivate him, because I'm bossy lol. We had fun! He got some "yoga for dummies" DVD not long ago so we started with that. We also discussed some diet plans. We both want to lose a lot of weight, and we really haven't taken any major steps towards that goal.

In other news, I've sort of spent a lot of time on World of Warcraft lately, I guess as a means of escaping some of the more depressing things that have been happening lately. I finally got my "main" character, a Draenei Shaman, to level 70 this past week (if you're wondering, I play on the Arygos server, name is Spacerussian). That means.....flying mount! Woo woo! Now, I just need to get my leatherworking skill level up about 9 points so I can start working on making my epic set. Easier said than done.

At any rate, this was a pretty lame update, but hey at least I sat down and typed out something. Thanks for reading!

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Big Red" by Frank Black

The Results Are In

2007-08-16T15:03:00.000-05:00

Talked to my doctor today- as I thought, my fallopian tubes are clear. They found nothing amiss, my HSG was completely normal. I asked my doctor what this means for me, and he basically gave me the big medical shrug, and told me that I fall into a group of 10% of people with infertility issues that are diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility". So he said I could schedule a laparoscopy in a few months if I wanted, to just to make sure nothing came up on that versus the HSG, which is pretty unlikely I guess from what he was saying- or I could see a reproductive endocrinologist, but there is at this point not one in my health care network. I'm going to work on that and see if I can't find one or at least get them to extend coverage to the one my doctor referred. I could take Clomid to force ovulation, but I seem to be ovulating fine without them. I don't want to take medications yet, anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind when I'm in my 30s and nothing else has worked.

I'm glad that there's nothing "wrong" with me or whatever, but I almost feel like this result was way worse than if my results had been abnormal. At least then I'd have a reason, and know that it's time to give up or else have corrective procedures. I hate this vagueness. I hate knowing that I'm just going to have to continue using the "try and see" method that has been failing us since Fall of 2005. There is a chance that I'll be more fertile than usual for the next 3 months, due to the HSG, so maybe I'll get lucky. That is, if I ever stop hurting from the procedure enough to actually give sex a go.

Sigh.

* Allison *

A Hole in the Sky

2007-08-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I ended up frogging the shrug after all. I also made a couple of stitch markers to use that aren't split like the lion brand ones I was using, so hopefully they won't jump around and cause the same problem I had last time. I haven't really done any work on it this time besides casting on, so I guess I need to get to it this afternoon.

I had the HSG yesterday. After everything I read, and everything the doctor said beforehand, I imagined there would be some pain, maybe sort of a crampy feeling, and that would be that. BULLSHIT. That procedure was easily the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life. After taking two big handfuls of steroids and histamine blockers beforehand (I am allergic to iodine and shellfish, which also makes me allergic to the cleaning solution they use in the uterus and the contrast dye for the HSG), I wasn't allowed to take any pain killers or anything because of possible drug interaction. I get there, hop up on the table, am greeted by a radiologist that looks like 'The Todd" from Scrubs, and get scooted down the table with my feet on make-shift stirrups and yelled at to "relax more". So I do. Next thing I know, it's been 20 minutes and the radiologist hasn't even started the procedure yet- cleaned my uterus, which was uncomfortable, started putting in the speculum, but is having trouble finding my cervix. Granted, I have pretty much the weirdest cervix in the world- it's like tilted practically sideways and is all the way at the back- but it's not exactly comfortable having someone looking for it, and I'm getting frustrated and angry.....so he finally gets there. the speculum widens to what feels like 3 feet wide, but it was probably a few inches at the most. I start to get that pain feeling that sort of spreads over you slowly- like fire- everything's so uncomfortable that I'm starting to forget what I'm doing- but it still was mostly tolerable. Then, in goes this enormous tube thing with syringe-type stoppers in one end and a freaking balloon in the other. The balloon end goes to the cervix, and they expand it. Suddenly, I can't see, I can't hear, all I can do is feel.....and all I can feel is the sensation of being broken in half from the inside out. The pain shoots through me like there is nothing else in the world but me and it. I think I yelled. I may have called the radiologist a "motherfucker". I can't remember. The nurse holds my shoulders down. Like it's a million miles away, I start to hear a voice repeating over and over that he's "almost done". Probably about a dozen pictures get taken, I get maneuvered left and right and back and forth, and then it's over. I cried. I bled all over their linens. I changed, and left. They wouldn't discuss my results without my doctor present, so I have to wait until Dr. Scobee gets the images and calls me, I guess. From what I saw while I was getting dressed, it looks like my tubes are clear. So that was that. If you're reading this because you were looking up HSGs and wanted to know what it's like, don't get scared because of my post- apparently some people go through this shit like it's nothing- I was not one of those people. Everyone handles things differently, I guess. But I kind of wonder if other women just aren't letting on how horrible this procedure is. Maybe I'm just a crybaby. Maybe I had a bad radiologist. Who knows. I'm still bleeding from yesterday, though, and crampy. Blah.

So other than that, there's not a lot going on with me. I'm going to spend the next few days relaxing.

* Allison *
currently listening to "16 Shells from a 30.06" by Tom Waits

Should I Frog it?

2007-08-11T11:32:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm over 110 yards into my two-toned knitted shrug from Fitted Knits by Stephanie Japel, and it looks like I must have misplaced my stitch marker a few times on the right shoulder, so now I wonder if I should frog the whole effort or not. Honestly, I'm not sure that it'll really bother me to wear a garment with a little mistake like this, but I don't want to be out and have other knitters get grossed out by seeing it or anything, so what do you think? Here is my progress so far:

I chose Sunshine and Capri from Knitpick's Swish Superwash Line for the shrug. My tension is still a little funky as far as knitting stockinette flat, but it's not so bad that I don't think I can block it even or else just live with it. It's a ton better than it used to be.

Here is a close-up of the mistake:

The color is a little off in the picture. The first photo is much truer to life.

So anyway, what do YOU think? Unravel it or leave it as is and soldier on? I'm dreading the idea of doing so much work over again, but if it's like a knitting sin to leave it I want to know lol.

Thanks for your comments and opinions in advance!

* Allison *

Boring a Way Through Me

2007-08-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

Well, my HSG was supposed to be today, but despite the fact that I told my doctor twice over the past three weeks and the woman at the hospital registration desk yesterday on the phone that I'm allergic to shellfish/iodine and everyone said that that should be no problem, the radiologist wouldn't do the procedure today because of that. So I go back on Monday morning, after taking some sort of steroid for 12 hours in preparation. I slept a grand total of 2 hours last night. I couldn't sleep for worry about today. I've spent all week going crazy, reading other people's blogs about their experiences with HSGs and the pain and discomfort that went with it....and I still have to wait three more days. Suffer three more days. Go out of my fucking mind, bat shit insane with worry and anticipation, for three more days. It's to a point, now, that I don't want to talk about it, don't want to talk to anyone, period. I need to close myself off and get through this. The people around me are just making me more nervous. I've never been the sort of person who responds to "It's going to work out" or "I'm sure you'll be fine"s. That sort of baseless positivity makes me worry even more. I need a good cry, but other than a tear or two of frustration in the nurse's office, I haven't been able to. I haven't cried in a long while. I rarely do nowadays. I just store up all of the stress and aggravation and rage, to a point where I'm almost numb to anything else piled on. It just builds. Jon thinks I'm overreacting, and maybe I am in someone else's eyes- but for me, this setback is just another miserable thing I'm trying to trudge through. It seems like I've spent a good portion of the past 8 years trudging through things that feel like they could break me at any moment. I had a dream last night that I was a mother, finally- and I was the most terrible mother that ever lived. I had no idea what I was doing, I was apathetic, I was filled with anger. The night before that, I dreamed that an old friend showed up and told me that I had a horrible disease and that I would die soon. I've had that dream 4 times in the past week and a half, with different old friends and different diseases. Meanwhile, the nurse who was explaining to me that I would have to wait is apparently infertile also. She's been taking Clomid unsuccessfully for three months. I asked her if she had had an HSG yet, and she said that she was putting it off as long as possible because she was terrified of the procedure. Great bedside manner, no? I'm exhausted. I'm not making a ton of sense maybe. I'm too angry and disappointed at everything to be very entertaining. I think I'm going to leave this as is, and take a nap. Give me my space for a few days, if you don't mind. I just can't deal with anyone yet.

* Allison*
currently listening to "This Fire" by Franz Ferdinand

The Worst isn't Over

2007-07-26T00:13:00.000-05:00

I finished the hobo bag last night, so I'll start this blog off with a picture before I delve into more depressing stuff.

The pattern, once again, is the "Black and White Hobo Bag" from 100 Purses to Knit and Crochet. I used a different yarn than that recommended, but I like it okay anyway.

So today I went to see the OB/GYN to discuss infertility. We've ruled out thyroid disease and diabetes, but my doctor seems concerned about other things. I will be making an appointment for a hysterosalpingogram (which is a type of X-ray specifically for determining whether or not there are blockages in my fallopian tubes- they inject me with dye or something, I don't know all the details. I was told it's more radiation than a normal X-ray as well) as soon as I start my period this cycle. From there, I'll be making an appointment for a laproscopy to determine if I have endometriosis. My doctor seems to think that I've either got endometriosis, premature menopause, or was rendered infertile by some other problems in my past that I won't go into here. At any rate, because of the severity of my symptoms, he wasn't making promises and seemed fairly pessimistic about everything. I'm supposed to talk to my husband and think about taking Clomid for three months to force ovulation, which has a 5% chance of producing multiple births if I successfully conceive. I swore I would not go the hormone route, but I don't know what to think about this since it would only be for three months. If you have an opinion, please let me know. I've flat out refused injections and IVF, I just can't take the stress and I feel like at that point I'd be better off if my doctor would just say "hey, you can't get pregnant" so I could move on with my life.

So this was my afternoon. My mother is in town, but she didn't bother to come to the doctor with me like I asked, or even to call or text message. My sister called and woke me up from a nap, but only wanted to whine about herself and didn't even bother to ask or remember what I was going through today. Maybe I'm being incredibly selfish or silly, but they both pissed me off and seriously hurt my feelings over this. I don't know if I even want to talk to either of them for a while until I can get over this. I NEEDED my mother day. It seems like I never have her support when I want it... and Amber's just insanely self-centered, and I'm sick of it. I feel like I've been supporting everyone else's problems all year long, and no one remembers that I have a ton of hard-to-deal-with-alone shit going on, too. That's okay, though. I suppose I've gotten through much worse on my own.

Today was the one year anniversary of Jon and I moving to Kentucky. It seems like it's been a lot longer.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "No Children" by The Mountain Goats

Nothing's Going to Save You

2007-07-21T03:19:00.001-05:00

It's been a strange few days. Firstly, (did I mention this already? I can't remember) my uncle, who has been missing for 2 years, showed up at my mother's house. He won't talk about what he's been doing or why he came, but it's been evident from his actions that he intends on living there, and the family is in a "silent uproar" over it. Snarky comments and behind-each-other's-back rantings have been the norm. With his history of drug abuse and violent alcoholism, it's understandable that everyone (except for my grandmother, who is excitedly doting on her prodigal son) is a little uneasy.

Aside from that, I'm doing fine. Jon and I go through each day pretty much the same as the last. That seems boring and horrible to most people, I'm sure, but we're comfortable. I've been trying to exercise more, which has caused my back to hurt here and there. I'm about halfway finished with the hobo bag I'm knitting, but the pattern is so boring that I haven't been getting as much work done on it as I would like.

I had a dream last night that I sold my soul to the devil, but I'm unclear as to what the details of the dealings were. This dream (and a string of other equally disturbing ones) have sort of had me thinking about the past a lot this week. Past mistakes, past triumphs, past embarrassments. I've had this unshakable feeling that something big is getting ready to happen, but I'm afraid it won't be a good big thing.

Mom and Brad are coming to visit from Sunday until Wednesday. My doctor's appointment is on Wednesday, also. My car still doesn't work. My neighbors still haven't moved, though I've seen them carrying in more boxes this week. That's pretty much anything I have to talk about for now.

I'm exhausted but I'm wary about dreaming.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Homesick" by The Vines

My Brain Exploded

2007-07-09T18:12:00.000-05:00

The Transformers movie was the biggest waste of my time, EVER. Jon owes me SO BIG for dragging me to that crap.

That is all.

* Allison *

Show Yur Guns

2007-07-08T13:27:00.000-05:00

I just got back from the grocery store, and since I stepped out into the parking lot I've been obsessed with one thing: How am I going to get the cute Asst. manager, John Cox, to meet my friend Pam and go out on a date with her? lol. Jon and I decided it would be perfect! We could possibly FINALLY get that special order that we never heard back about (Frescheta stuffed crust pizza), I'd get to look at him more (hooray eye candy!) and Pam would have a cute, tall boyfriend with a good job (plus I'm almost positive he's a Sagittarius, which is what she likes). So John Cox of Louisville, KY, if you're reading this, you need to ask my friend Pam out on a date. Her myspace is http://myspace.com/oreobarbie

lol

In other news, I'm going to see a doctor about all of my problems on the 25th. I'm worried to death, about pretty much everything. Do I have endometriosis? Did that miscarriage in college mess me up permanently? Am I prematurely periomenopausal? I've been having hot flashes. My periods are extremely irregular. I just want to be a normal 27 year old woman and be able to have normal babies with my (more or less) normal husband and be a normal family. It's maddening that that's not the case for us. If I get bad news from the doctor, I'm probably going to snap and start painting dead flowers and barren wombs. Please, powers that be, don't let me be THAT person.

We went over to Rachel and Josh's new house on the 4th for a cookout, and it was a lot of fun. I'm jealous of their new house lol. People around here are CRAZY about fireworks! Some of their neighbors had professional looking stuff they were setting off. They all must have spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on fireworks. Totally weird. Pam and Rachel and I got pretty tipsy and that's always fun lol.

Anyway- that's pretty much all I have for today.

* Allison *
currently listening to "One by One" by Lola Ray

There's Only Space

2007-07-02T21:53:00.000-05:00

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing lately. I've been working on that hobo bag, which I've already had to frog and start over (forgot to do a gauge swatch, it was way too small). I've been playing a hell of a lot of World of Warcraft, too. I've been avoiding friends, family, and my blog. The reason is- my period is five days late. I'm NOT pregnant, so please don't freak out, it just makes me want to punch people in the teeth. I think I'm just experiencing another hormonal flux of some sort, which means I'm miserable and emotional and angry and I'm aware of it and I'm trying very hard to not take it out on everyone. That, and there's just so much CHANGE happening around me, from new jobs and new houses for friends to my sister moving to Florida- and Jon and I are exactly the same and in the exact same place that we've been in for almost a year. That's not necessarily bad, but I'm starting to get a little antsy about things. Or jealous. Or relieved. Or a combination of all of these things.

I resigned from moderating Get Stitchy today. I agreed to moderate because I wanted to stand by a friend who needed my support, but that's not an issue anymore now that the site has been given to someone else. It stopped being fun for me a while back anyway, once I realized the bullshit and backstabbing that women on the Internet are capable of. Good luck to everyone who stays on, and I'll continue to check in and maybe even post on occasion.

Ho hum- what else is new? Mom bought me a flight to Pensacola to see my sister in October. I've never been on a plane before, so that'll be interesting. I've always traveled by car, train, or boat. Rachel made sure to point out all of the terrifying things about flying to me this afternoon, though, so thanks Rachel! lmao.

Anyway, screw this, I need a cigarette.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Broken Face" by The Pixies

We Smoked The Last One an Hour Ago

2007-06-19T23:57:00.000-05:00

So, I forgot to post about this the other day, but I finally finished the second sock! I'm not going to post pictures, 'cause, well, it looks exactly like the first sock I already showed you pictures of lol. I started the black and white hobo bag from 100 Purses to Knit and Crochet a few days ago, as well, but I haven't gotten very far. I am not a fan of ribbon yarn so far. I'm about 8 inches into the handles.

So I took pictures of Hachi (the cat we brought in, the one that the jerk-off neighbors abandoned)- Here she is :)

The color in the photos is a little off, was trying to correct it in photoshop because the room was kind of dark and everything looked a little yellowed from the living room lamps. She's doing okay here- she's definitely still adjusting. Rin and Kyo want to be her friend SO BAD, but she won't let them get near her. She is exploring more now, and even comes into the living room occasionally. She's still way more comfortable hanging out in the guest bathroom and my bedroom, though.

I'm kind of worried about my sister. She's having a hard time with the idea of moving to Florida in a few weeks- she's never moved more than a few minutes away from my mom before. I really hope her husband is going to be able to take care of her when she goes into shock down there, and I'm pretty sure she will. And actually, I'm pretty worried about my brother, too- he's being a total brat teenager, and driving my mother insane. My whole family is losing it, lately. I'm trying really hard to not join them.

So I quit smoking in January of 2006, and then started back again in April of 2007. I keep thinking I want to quit again, and I bought my little nicotine patches, etc. but I'm having a much harder time this time. I think the main reason is that I just don't really WANT to quit this time. I feel like I'm only doing it because I feel guilty. When I quit the first time, I did it because I thought I'd be pregnant very soon after. I don't have that motivation now. Jon has been fighting me on it- and I realize that it's bad for me, I'm not retarded. There are just so many things in my life that are making me want to tear my hair out, and smoking seems to alleviate that some. I guess I'll wake up one of these days and be ready to quit again. I don't want to be a smoker forever. I don't want to be a horrible bitch forever, either, though.

A lot of people we know have had babies this month. Two are still pregnant and I think one is due in October and one in September. I know it's horrible of me, but I don't even really want to talk to any of them, and if I talk about them at all, I start to get catty without meaning to. I hate being jealous over something like that.

I think I've been pretty stand-offish this past week or so. I just really haven't felt like talking to anyone- it's nothing personal. Mercury is retrograde and everything I try to say ends up coming out completely different from what I meant to say. I'm just trying to straighten everything out in my head. I feel like I'm carrying a lot of other people's problems around.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "America" by Simon and Garfunkel

Little Row Boat

2007-06-12T23:51:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been confirmed....the asshole neighbors are moving! I'm not exactly sure when, but I'm assuming soon since they've been filling the dumpster, the area around it, and my back porch with lots of old crap and trash. While Amber and Mom were here, we went out to dinner, and in the time it took to do that and come back, they had dragged a broken treadmill and a rusty exercise bike over to block my back door. They're so nice. Blah. So Jon ended up having to drag that shit over to the dumpster, and then the garbage men wouldn't take it, so it's still sitting out there. Classy.

I have even more reason to hate their guts, by the way. About a month ago, I started seeing a little calico cat in the woods behind my apartment. After a week or so of seeing me out there regularly, it started coming up to me. It's very affectionate, so I knew that it wasn't feral. Someone had either lost or abandoned this cat. I started posting "found" messages on various local websites, etc. but never got a response. I realized that my next-door neighbors were feeding it, so I asked them if it belonged to them, and they said no, that Ace, the asshole neighbor, used to be the owner and had "got mad" at it one night and THREW it over the fence and refused to let it back in. They abandoned this sweet cat. It's de-clawed, so it has absolutely no defense for itself outside. I fought and fought and fought with Jon over what to do- my next-door neighbors can't take it in because they have too many cats already, and are caregivers for a feral cat community. Finally, last night, I picked up and brought it in. Rin and Kyo scared her, though, so she ended up running back out and I couldn't find her the rest of the night. Tonight, however, she came back and I let her in again. This time, I've got her in one of the bathrooms with her own food and water bowls and litter pan, so I'm hoping that if she gets used to being there she'll adjust to the other two cats and us and not run off again. I put some of our dirty clothes and Rin and Kyo's bed in there with her so she can get used to our smells. We're naming her Hachi. I needed another cat like I need a hole in my head, but I can't bear the thought of it out there in the woods unable to fend for itself.

In knitting news, I'm STILL not finished with that second sock. I'm about halfway finished with the foot, though, so I'm sort of almost done. I'm excited to get it finished so I can start something new.

Amber and Mom's visit was nice, by the way. I'm going to miss Amber when she moves to Florida. I wish they had stayed a few days longer.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Clap Hands" by Tom Waits

Squishin' Armadillos out on Interstate 10

2007-06-06T23:52:00.000-05:00

I've not been very good about updating this thing regularly, have I? Sorry about that.

Let's see....what's been going on.....

Well, my back still hurts, I went in for a re-evaluation today. The doctor told me to throw away the meds the other doctor had prescribed and just take ungodly amounts of over the counter ibuprofen, which is kind of what I had planned to do anyway. I still have to take it easy, he said that it could be several months before I feel better. Meanwhile, it's NOT my sacro-iliac joint, like I had assumed....this is apparently an entirely new injury. So, I guess that's good or whatever, at least as far as the insurance money is concerned. I'm supposed to try to walk around a little bit each day and do gentle stretches until I feel like I'm getting stronger, and if I'm not feeling any better by next month I'll be going to physical therapy. Blah.

In other news, Mom and Amber are coming to visit on Friday night and are staying until Sunday morning- quick visit, but at least I get to see them I guess. This will be my last time seeing my sister before her and her new husband move to Pensacola. Saturday is World Wide Knit in Public Day so Pam and I are going to go up to the Heine Bros. coffee house in the Highlands on Saturday afternoon at around 2pm to knit. In public. Yup. Mom and Amber are going to come along, and shop in some of the little boutiques out there while I knit. I re-started my second sock for the billionth time yesterday, and I hope to have it finished if not by then, then on that day. I have yarn for the Hobo Bag from 100 Purses to Knit and Crochet to do next, probably. It's Lion Brand Incredible in "Accent on Black". I've never worked with ribbon yarn before, and honestly it looks like it's going to be kind of a pain in the ass, but the bag is really cute so I'm crossing my fingers that it's not so bad. I also want to put in a Knit Picks order in for probably some swish super wash in probably Bordeaux and Bubblegum colors for the Two-toned Ribbed Shrug from Fitted Knits. There are quite a few patterns in that book I'd like to attempt if I can scare up the yarn funds, actually.

I've been wasting insane amounts of time playing World of Warcraft lately. I made it to level 48 with my Shaman last night, and I was going to shoot for 49 tonight but I just don't have the attention span right now.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot the best news of all- those stupid redneck neighbors that I hate? I was sitting here trying to tune out their loud, obnoxious chatter outside of my living room window earlier, and then realized that they were telling someone that they are..........you guessed it! MOVING! This is, like, cause for celebration. I'm not sure, but it sounded like they were moving to Tucson, AZ, which is even better. The farther that woman is from me, the better.

Anyway, that's my update. I'm still kind of weird and fuzzy-brained from pain and aggravation, so it seems really difficult to think of anything to type lol.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "UFOs, Big Rigs, and BBQ" by Mojo Nixon

A Little Different Around Here

2007-05-30T22:36:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been almost a week since my last post. It's been one hell of a week. Since the accident, I've had to deal with practically non-stop phone calls from my insurance company and the at-fault woman's insurance company. I'm supposed to call my doctor back next Wednesday to discuss whether or not I'll need further treatment. The woman accepted all liability, which is good for me since that makes all of this really really unlikely to end up in court, since that was something I was sort of worried about. I'm on painkillers and muscle relaxers, which don't seem to really help a lot but to seem to make me very irritable, sleepy, and unable to concentrate. I'm starting to get pretty depressed about the whole ordeal. I hate not being able to do things around the house like I normally do. I hate not being able to work out, or walk around a store for very long, or drive. I hate not being able to play Wii. I hate not being comfortable even when I'm sitting around doing nothing. Jon's working really hard to help out around here, but the way he does things aggravates me and I feel like he's not "doing things right" or half-assing things. He's exhausted because he's uncomfortable when he sleeps, because I complain when he moves too much (it hurts my back) but I don't want him sleeping on the sofa or guest bed, either, cause I can't deal with the guilt. Blah. Anyway- I've been trying to get some knitting done, but unfortunately my lack of concentration has led to several froggings and I've pretty much at this point just given up on getting the second sock made until I can stop taking prescription drugs. I've been working on a simple skinny ribbed scarf with some scraps as stripes, but even that has quite a few mistakes in it thanks to my addled brain. Luckily, most of the yarn is chunky enough that it doesn't really show.

Ugh. A lightning bug flew into one of the light bulbs and died, and the smell of it burning has filled the entire apartment.

I've also been playing ridiculous amounts of World of Warcraft, but I lose interest in my quests pretty quickly so I'll log in, play for a bit, log out, do something else, and then go back to it. Right now I'm taking a break, cause I've been trying to solo a quest in Desolace (Khan Hratha) for like 2 nights now and it's just not happening. I'm tired of dying lol. This is the first quest I've come across with my shaman that I haven't been able to solo- I guess it was bound to happen eventually. For the most part, I'm glad I specc'd as an enhancement shaman, despite all the crap I took for deciding to do that.

Yeah- so anyway, there's my update. Sorry for being so negative.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "A Certain Romance" by the Arctic Monkeys

Cars that go Boom

2007-05-24T09:59:00.000-05:00

Jon and I were rear ended not once, but twice at a stoplight yesterday. We were almost pushed by the at-fault minivan driver into a blind man crossing the street at the crosswalk. At the time, I was feeling pretty sore but felt pressured by everyone involved to say that I felt okay. There was no damage to either car. When the police came, he asked us if we wanted to file a report, since there wasn't any damage. The at-fault driver once again piped up saying that we didn't need to do that, making Jon and I feel pressured to agree. Now, I regret this, since after an hour had passed from the accident, my back was in agony. I think I may have re-agitated my sacroiliac joints, but I can't be sure because instead of the majority of the pain being on one side or another, I'm feeling most of my pain at the center of my lower back, near the tailbone. I'm having a really really rough time doing anything this morning. But- I can't do anything without a police report, right? I've emailed the police dept. asking if it was too late to file a report, but I haven't had a response. I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do. MY car is in the shop, and Jon took his to work, so I don't have access to a vehicle to go to the doctor if it comes down to that. I cried last night for the first time in 5 months, from pain. What am I supposed to do? I'm reposting this in my myspace blog, too, because I've never been in a situation like this before and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Thanks.

*** Update ***

I managed to get a hold of the police dept., who said it was too late to have a police report filed but that I could fill out a Civilian Traffic Collision Form and send it to the State Police. So I'm doing that. The woman who hit us I think gave us purposefully misleading information, but with the help of the Internet my claims adjuster was able to find her and get that straightened out. I went to a doctor tonight, and I have strained several muscles and have possibly re-agitated my right sacroiliac joint. The only thing for me to do is take it easy and pop pills for a little while. I can't drive, lift over 10 lbs., twist, or bend. I really wanted to go to WV to visit my mom and grandmother next weekend but I guess I won't be able to go now :( Looks like I'll be getting a lot of knitting/World of Warcraft playing in....but not much housecleaning, so if you're planning on dropping by, please excuse the gross mess in advance :)

Take What is Given You

2007-05-17T09:13:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, let's see. What to talk about first.

Well, I'll start with goodies! I recently ordered some Mary Kay from my friend Pam. I got a compact and an eyeshadow applicator and two eyeshadow colors; moonstone and virtual violet. Here's a picture of my pretty eyelids LOL.

When Pam delivered my order, she also brought a present that she and Rachel had picked out for me, as a "good job surviving your in-law visit" gift :) It was a totally RAD owl shirt! and a Bringing Back Rad button from their cafe press store. I have a picture of the shirt, but not of the button:

Hooray stuff!!!!

Anyway- I got contacts the other day, so my eyes are all freaking out. I keep reaching up to re-adjust my glasses. I have ghost glasses now lol. That's pretty much all I have to talk about right now, I think. I'm sort of multi-tasking right now and losing my train of thought.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "rich Girl" by Hall & Oates

Wastin' Time

2007-05-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

Well, I survived the in-law visit. The arrived last Wednesday morning, and left yesterday at around 2pm. Despite the almost constant prayer and voicing of ultra Conservative views, it wasn't too bad. We went to the zoo (I bought a membership plus, which means me and a guest can get in free all this year!), and Jon and his dad went to Bass Pro Shop while I took his mother to the Old Time Pottery, I bought some ribbon yarn for a hobo bag from 100 Purses to Knit and Crochet (which was a gift from my MIL, along with Skirts!), and we got them to fall in love with Wii Sports (my mother-in-law is actually extremely good at bowling). Also this past week, I finished my very first sock! Here's a photo:

I haven't cast on the second one yet, I may start that this evening, or I might wait and use it as an example for Rachel on how to start a project using DPNs. She's planning on making legwarmers for her little girl.

I started smoking again. I think I needed it to get through last week- but now I have a horrible cold/allergies/something, and I'm trying to quit again. I'm hoping it won't be so hard this time. I'm pretty grossed out by smoking.

Well, David graduated boot camp and is now a Calvary Scout, and Amber graduated from WVU. It's been a week of graduations. I'm proud of both.

I guess I'm going to try to go to the eye doctor tonight and talk about getting contacts. I'm getting tired of wearing glasses.

Anyway- there's probably a million other things I wanted to blog about today, but I can't remember/don't care about them anymore, I just want to get my cleaning out of the way so I can relax (and maybe play Wii). Later!

* Allison *
currently listening to: Sitting on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding

Whole Town Speculating

2007-05-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

Well, first of all, I FINALLY finished those knitting needles I started a million years ago- they are made from oak dowels; sanded, sharpened, waxed, and oiled by yours truly :) I made the toppers out of sculpey and painted them. Wanna see? Well, if you said no, too bad, 'cause here are the pics :)

I have matching handmade beads for each set of needles to make stitch markers, but I haven't done those yet.

In other news, my in-laws are coming to visit on Wed. and are staying until Sunday evening, I believe. I'm stressing out....especially since the word "bitch" is still scrawled across my door and my father-in-law is a Southern Baptist preacher (read: conservative to the point of almost ridiculousness). They're coming because my nephew David is graduating boot camp at Fort Knox (yay David!). Also, speaking of graduations, my sister is finally graduating college on Saturday, I'm really proud of her. She's been slowly working on that degree for 7 years now.

At any rate, I won't be blogging the rest of the week, most likely.

Oh! and if you're wondering how the sock knitting is going, I'm past the heel and gusset on the first one! I'm so excited that I made it this far. It's been pretty crazy trying to figure everything out. I think I've probably driven Ruth crazy with about a million questions about the pattern. I haven't had a ton of time to work on it the past few days, but I'm hoping to at least finish the first one this week. It really depends I guess on how busy we end up being with visitors here.

Anyway- I've got a long day of cleaning ahead of me tomorrow, so I'm going to end this here.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Murder (or a Heart Attack) by the Old 97's

Zomg Make-up

2007-05-03T21:58:00.000-05:00

My friend Pam is now a Mary Kay representative, so if you need to get your Mary Kay on, you should order from her :) Her website is: Pam's Mary Kay
Not in Louisville? No worries! She'll pay for the postage on your order.
I've added the address for the website on my sidebar for easy access :)

In other news, I'm at war with the neighborhood kids. They've decided for whatever reason to hate my guts and torment Jon and I. It's actually getting scary, yet the police and the office have so far refused to do anything. I've had my front door vandalized (the word "Bitch" written across in nice big black letters that seep through layers of re-painting. ) Drawings of really obscene things have been popping up in the parking lot directly in front of my apartment (think, naked people having bowel movements) and the faucet outside of my backdoor was turned on and left on for at least an hour today, nearly flooding my backdoor again and causing me to really worry about my water bill this month. We removed the handle for the spigot so that at least THAT can't happen again, but I really am at my wits end.

That's pretty much all I have for now. It's been a long day.

My Luke Hands Washed

2007-04-30T14:27:00.000-05:00

I only seem to blog when I'm upset or have just finished a knitting project. I'm really not a miserable person, I hope no one gets that impression- I just have better things to do than blog when I'm happy.

Today, however, I'm not happy. I'm crampy and bitchy and over-emotional. I almost broke down into tears in the drive-thru at a Hardee's for no "real" reason. More like, a half-imagined feeling. I never actually break down into tears, though, so it didn't happen. For the last few years, I can only cry when I'm talking to my mother. That's probably pretty weird. Anyway- We went to the Urologist today, who did two exams and asked Jon to come back in 90 days after going back to the lab and having another semen analysis done. I liked the Urologist, he was much better at explaining things than Jon's primary care doctor.

At any rate, he's saying that probably Jon's sperm are fine. Which means I need to schedule another appointment with an OB/GYN- which means I need to find a primary care doctor first, who can refer me to one- and I guess talk about what comes next for me after blood work and pelvic exams as far as fertility testing. My friend Rachel has me more or less convinced I have Endometriosis, so I need to talk to a doctor about that. That would be better than most things, since it can usually be fixed or whatever with an out-patient procedure, so I'm kind of hoping that's all it is. With my miscarriage history it seems logical.

I'm really bothered by all of this today. I've seen Rachel and her baby, Ella, twice this week, and it's kind of jealousy inducing to watch her interact with her baby, I guess. Not so much that it hurts to hang out with her or anything like that, just enough to sort of hit that little "but I want to be a mom, too" nerve.

Sigh.

At any rate, We went out to dinner with Pam, Rachel and Josh (and Ella) last night and then came back her to hang out for a while- it's nice having regular hang-out-with friends again lol. I've moved so much it seems like all of my friends for a while now have been long-distance. Good change, definitely. I guess next weekend we're all having a Chicken Tortilla Soup cook-off for Cinco de Mayo.

I'm trying to knit a sock from a pattern Ruth sent me. I haven't gotten past the cuff yet, so I don't know how scary it is yet lol. I had another pattern I was trying to follow the past few days but I frogged 8 times and got really frustrated so I decided to hold off on that one until I have a better idea of how sock knitting works. I bought some yarn the other day at this local yarn store, which is actually a little office space that this woman rents for 4 or 5 days a week for a few hours a day to sell her yarn. It's really great (and cheap) mostly hand spun stuff. I got two skeins of a bulky cotton blend in a sort of cream/white/tan color that I can't wait to turn into a skinny scarf (with stripes from my stash, since I have a lot of bulky weight yarn here and there). That is, unless I come up with something better for it before then. for two hanks, I paid under 4 bucks.

I tried out another LYS called Carma Needlecraft on Saturday, and I definitely won't be going back. Jon went with me, and as we walked in I was immediately distracted by something on a lower shelf and bent down- so when the woman working there looked up from their knitting to see who came in, they only saw Jon. This apparently bothered them, since they rudely asked," Can we HELP you?" in a sort of snide tone...when I realized what was going on and stood back up to answer that WE were fine, and just browsing, their tones changed and they were suddenly more helpful. Anyplace that would treat a customer like the treated Jon just because he is male doesn't need my business. I know plenty of men who either knit already or want to learn, and I can't believe any shop owner or employee would be so rude to a potential customer. So anyway- if you're in Louisville, KY, and want to check out the LYSs here, I would recommend skipping over Carma Needlecraft and heading straight for the Knit Nook instead.

So anyway, Jon's taking a nap, and I think I'm going to finish laundry and then maybe join him.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Nimrod's Son" by The Pixies

Finished Objects!

2007-04-25T23:06:00.000-05:00

I finished the purse and the legwarmers....wanna see?

Next project will most likely be my first pair of socks out of yarn I dyed with Kool Aid.

* Allison *

Spitting in a Wishing Well

2007-04-22T23:24:00.000-05:00

I think things are starting to settle down- well maybe not, but at least they're not getting weirder right now.

Pam and Scott are back together! I didn't mention that they had broken up, I don't think, but that's been really stressful because I was trying to be a good friend to both of them, putting me in the middle. With all the other drama lately, I'm glad that they're happy and back together. It takes a load off, definitely.

Speaking of them, they have created a website dedicated to bringing back common usage of the word "rad" after a conversation Pam and I had on the topic about two weeks ago. Check it out! Bringing Back Rad.

I finished one legwarmer. I haven't sewn the side together or added the drawstring (or in my case, it's going to be some cute ribbon I have with hearts on it). I hope to finish these this week. I also bought some fabric to finish lining that purse I was working on not long ago. I want to finish that this week, too.

Well, not really too much else to talk about.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Cannonball" by the Breeders

Quick Update

2007-04-19T17:43:00.000-05:00

So just a quick update:

I'm about halfway finished with the first legwarmer- I haven't had a ton of time for knitting lately, I've got a lot of friends who are going through craziness lately so a lot of my time has been spent talking to them.

I haven't worked on my knitting needles for like over a week, which stinks, but I just never think about it. Maybe tomorrow I'll make time for that.

I'm tired of bullshit and two-facedness. I'm realizing that the older I get, the less tolerant I'm getting of other people.

Yeah, I really don't have anything else right now. I guess I'm going to go knit for a little bit, since mentioning the legwarmers project has suddenly left me wanting to work on it.

* Allison *

Tangled Up in Single Minds

2007-04-14T23:52:00.000-05:00

Well, well. It's been a few days, but I don't have a ton of things to say. It's been an incredibly stressful week, but it's not really my place to talk about most of it. I'm stressed over other people's problems. I have my own problems, but I feel shallow and asshole-ish trying to get anyone to listen to me right now about anything, so I'm just waiting my turn, I guess. It may be a while. By then, I'll have completely internalized, as is my habit nowadays. I'm already more or less past the point of being healthy and venting.

My neighbors are all really fucking loud tonight. I hate all of them. I caught Jennifer the Wonder Redneck from Hell smoking in the hallway again last night.

I can't seem to catch up on anything. There's not enough time in the day.

In knitting news, I started these legwarmers and was almost finished with the first one when I realized that my calves are too big. I had to frog the whole effort so I can cast on about another inch worth of yarn. In the process of frogging, I broke the yarn in several places. Hooray. I don't even want to look at it again tonight. I'm taking a break for a day or two.

My in-laws are coming soon. I don't dislike them, but I'm terrified to spend any time alone with either of them because they've proven time and time again that they can't be accepting of me or my differences in religion. I'm tired of being cornered into a position where I have to either let one of them "save" me or look like a total jerk. Jon's pissed because he has to take time off of work because I won't spend anytime alone with them. He doesn't seem to understand that I would never force him to spend time alone with my parents, he should have the same respect for me. We're not close. They upset me every time they visit. I hardly know them. I feel like a terrible person typing this, but I need to get it off my chest. Besides, the worst part is the pressure about grandchildren. I'm tired of having to smile and nod when people talk about my future children, when there's a possibility that there might not be any.

My mom is also coming sort of soon, well not really but this coming Summer. She has the decency to want to stay in a hotel, though.

Arg. I'm just being bitchy. I really don't have anything important to say.

* Allison *
currently listening to "It Could Be Sweet" by Portishead

We'll Marry Our Fortunes Together

2007-04-11T00:49:00.000-05:00

Today was our 3rd wedding anniversary! We celebrated by going to dinner at Ramsi's Cafe on the World which was okay- we'd never been there before. I think our expectations maybe were too high. Afterwards we came home for a little while and then went back out for dessert at The Pie Kitchen which was absolutely fabulous. I had Strawberry Rhubarb. MmmmMmmmm. We also took a bunch of goofy pictures of us at home to post on the interwebz (check my myspace, yo) and I bought the shoes I'd been eyeing 'cause they were on sale. (pictures following).

Also today, I met up with Rachel and Pam to go to the Knit Nook and get some yarn for my next project, which might be This. This is the yarn I bought:

We walked around the Highlands for a bit, got some coffee, etc. I bought some Domokun stickers and a magnet and a few little buttons with random stuff on them at Kopilot and a new owl figurine at the Queen of Rags store.

Fun day. I'm tired.

* Allison *
currently listening to "America" by Simon and Garfunkel

Maxed Out Like a Credit Card

2007-04-08T00:46:00.000-05:00

Well, Friday sucked mostly. A good friend of mine lost her job, Jon got (vague) results finally, and Mom and I (sort of) had a disagreement that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Jon's doctor left a message on his cellphone, which he can't have turned on at work- and then called the house and asked to speak to him, but got me instead. Even though Jon signed paperwork allowing me to access his medical information, his stupid doctor refused flat out to talk to me about it. She told me she'd call his work (she didn't). I'd like to say first off, I was pissed. This woman has obviously never had to personally worry about her fertility, or else she'd understand that I'd been waiting on pins and needles for these results. But, whatever. If she had at least left clear results on Jon's cell phone message, it would have been okay, but she didn't even do that. She hemmed and hawed and suggested he see a urologist and didn't tell him the actual numbers or anything. So he called her back- and did so in a moving vehicle that he was driving, so he didn't write down anything. Jon's memory isn't the best in the world. He doesn't remember anything. So when he gets home to tell me this, I'm practically in tears out of frustration- and demand he call the doctor AGAIN, this time with pen and paper- but of course she had left the office early (it was only 4:25pm). So now I have to wait until Monday afternoon, which is ESPECIALLY frustrating now that I know that something was wrong enough to recommend seeing a specialist.

I'm not going to go into the shit with my mom. She and I just don't see eye to eye on things that I thought we did. What I think it comes down to is that she's slightly jealous of my living situation versus hers. I'm not angry, she just made me feel guilty for things I shouldn't have to feel guilty over. Also, she recommended that I "Just give up" on trying to have a baby, which is not exactly something I ever wanted to hear from someone else, particularly not my own mother. Especially since for the past 3 years she's been pressuring me about making her a grandmother. Ugh.

The friend who was terminated worked with Jon, and the event that caused it was something that Jon was slightly involved with. We're kind of scared. The friend tells us that we have nothing to worry about, but I spend my entire life worrying.

Anyway- we went out last night to do karaoke. I sucked really badly because my heart wasn't in it. I didn't drink that much, and we hardly talked because of the noise. But, at least we got out of the house, I guess.

Sigh.

* Allison *
currently listening to 'Wasted & Ready" by Ben Kweller

Eroding Around Here

2007-04-05T23:34:00.000-05:00

So this time, I'm not drunk and not AS bitter lol. It's been a pretty strange week.

Firstly, it's been extremely FAST. I thought today was Tuesday most of the day, and here it was Thursday already. Secondly, Jon went in for his lab work- but we still don't have the results. I guess I'll have to make sure he calls his doctor tomorrow. He was so nervous about this whole thing, and now it's even more nerve-wracking since we have to wait for results. He tells me that he had to inspect the entire lab room from top to bottom looking for "hidden cameras" before he could continue on doing his business lol. Is this normal behavior for a man? I would never in a million years have considered that if it were me in his shoes.

My shoulders and back feel really tight, but I don't know if that's because the yoga is working or because I'm stressed out.

My horoscope tells me to rely heavily on my intuition today, which worries me. What in the hell is going to happen today? I've had a strange feeling like something big is about to happen all week, though.

I've been knitting this strap for the purse with the ugliest yarn on the planet for like days now. It's so boring. Rachel wants to go to the Knit Nook next week to look at yarn for the calorimetry she wants to make, so maybe I'll pick something up for myself. I have no idea what I want to make, though.

I'm still working on those needles I'm making. It's become this big ordeal- like I keep finding little flaws that have to be fixed, and it's taking forever. I think that the next time I do this, though, I'll have a better idea of what process to use.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Saints" by the Breeders

It Sings to See Itself Again

2007-04-02T23:40:00.000-05:00

I'm drunk and depressed. Jon and I fought today. He stormed out of here like he was going to leave, but the dumb ass forgot his keys so in order to protect his pride and not have to come back in to retrieve them, he had to sulk on foot rather than by car. I guess we're over it. I called my mother and cried, which isn't something I normally do. I miss her, though. It seems like it's been longer than it has been since I've seen her. I think I might drive to West Virginia after next paycheck, or after I get contact lenses, whichever comes first. Last night, I dreamt that my teeth were falling out while I was at a fancy dinner in a pretty dress. There wasn't any blood, or pain- just emptiness. I was trying to hide my fallen teeth in my hand.

I find that when I'm drunk and alone, I obsess over exes. I worry about whether or not Ray is happy. I regret our last fight that stopped us from being friends. I grow completely aggravated that I don't know how to contact John Mintz anymore. It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. One minute he's living in Portsmouth, VA, the next he's floating in space for all I know. I hate that so many important parts of my past are missing in action. Then again, there are people I'm glad I have no contact with. And those who I know how to contact but just...don't.

I'm knitting a purse I hate. I hardly even want to work on it. I would like to start something new but I have horrible yarn. We're always broke lately, it seems like.

B L A H.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Blood Sings" by Suzanne Vega

Flash Your Stash! Day

2007-04-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

It's not impressive. I'm definately not a yarn snob. But here it is:

I forgot I had some of it, actually. I need to buy more yarn.

Clouds Got In My Way

2007-03-27T22:35:00.000-05:00

I'm sick. Like, not "I just don't really feel good" sick, more like "Oh Holy Crap I had a fever all day today and didn't realize it until I got dizzy and almost fell down in the grocery store" sick. "Take medicine" sick. "I should probably be in bed but I'll cough too much if I lay down" sick. Fun fun. I'm also simultaneously having my monthly visitor, which is making things especially pleasant. But- I can't whine because I gave Jon such a hard time for whining. That, and I hate it when people try to take care of me when I'm sick- I just want to be left alone- so if he for any reason thinks that I'm doing as poorly as I am, he'll try to baby me and it'll make me feel worse.

I've sort of hit a knitting block. I have a bunch of yarn I hate. I started making a little purse with some horrid shit I bought on clearance once not because I liked it but because the novelty of having what I considered the ugliest yarn ever seemed worth the 2 bucks per ball. It's like a neon blue and green shag rug, with lumps. I want to attempt socks soon, I have some sock yarn that I dyed with Kool-Aid, but I'm afraid....that, and I've looked at a ton of patterns online and I really just can't decide and I don't know what would be easiest to do for my first pair of socks.

Amber and DJ were here this past weekend. It wasn't super eventful-We ate lunch at The Pub at 4th St. Live; we walked up and down the Highlands and went to some cute little shops; We ate dinner at Max & Ermas at The Summit and went to the Old Navy there; We had a beer at the Bluegrass Brewing Company in St. Matthews- so basically, we went to all of the trendy places Louisville had to offer lol. They bought Jon's bike, which is great because I was really sick of it taking up room in the apartment, especially since he hadn't ridden it in like 4 years. She loved the hat I made for her last month. I only got slightly pissed at her, and that was like the first day so I got over it. Hooray.

There really isn't a lot going on. I'm still pissed at the apartment people- we're talking about houses, but I just don't see it happening this year. I haven't talked to my mom in almost 2 weeks, which is freaking me out a little bit. She's in the Grand Canyon for business this week (she works for the National Parks Service). Jon and I have an anniversary coming up on April 10th, it'll be our 3rd. I have no idea what to do for it. I think the medicine is kicking in because I feel incredibly fuzzy-headed.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Both Sides, Now" by Joni Mitchell

In the Present Tense

2007-03-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

Well, today was pretty shitty. Jon took off work today because he had made an appointment about a month ago with his doctor for a physical. While on the phone with her receptionist, a MONTH ago, he also asked to schedule a semen analysis. He was told that he would have to go to LabCorp to do that, but that they could send him over straight from the doctor's office so it wasn't a big deal. Okay. So today, we wake up early to get to the doctor's office, and end up waiting for about a billion years while 7 pharmaceutical sales reps take turns going in ahead of us to talk to the doctor. Jon finally gets seen, about an hour after his scheduled time, and the physical takes place, etc. The doctor writes him a recommendation for the lab work, but then tells him he'll have to make an appointment. Fine. We head back to the house for a quick lunch, and Jon tries to call the Lab to schedule his fertility analysis. several times. No one answers. We decide they're probably on lunch, so we wait an hour. Still, no answer. After TWO hours, Jon gets frustrated and calls his doctor, who SUDDENLY remembers to tell him that the Lab is only open Monday through Wednesday. So, yeah, thanks lady, and fuck you too. So now Jon is going to have to take ANOTHER day off work, and I'm going to have to worry and wonder about this shit for another week. It's really starting to get to me- my family is all asking me every single time they talk to me what the results were, and he hasn't even had the opportunity to be tested. My sister, full of couth as usual, has decided to ONLY refer to this whole ordeal as "When Jon gets to jizz in a cup". Classy. I'm really aggravated over this whole thing, I just want to know if there's something wrong on his end or if I have to start worrying about the more-invasive-than-just-some-blood-work tests on my end. I'm really hoping that it's something simple. Ugh. Anyway, I'm getting depressed talking about this.

So I am currently not working on a single knitting project. I have tons of yarn, and I keep looking through it all, but I have NO idea what to make next. I've hit knitter's block. I have, however, decided to make my own knitting needles. I bought some oak dowels that are approx. a size 10.5 US knitting needle, and I cut them down and sharpened them- I still need to sand them and wax them and make something pretty to put on the ends. I used a pair of my old bamboo needles the other day and make little owls for the ends, just as practice I guess. Here's a picture:

I need to get better at this sculpting thing. Or at least remember to take sandpaper to the things before I jump the gun and paint them. Once I get the hang of this shit, I want to put a few pairs up for sale. We'll see.

Amber and her husband DJ are visiting for the weekend. I have a ton of cleaning to do tomorrow. My joints all ache from being terrible at yoga and falling down a lot. lol. I guess we're going to just sort of hang out, maybe do a little sightseeing. Nothing major.

At any rate, that's pretty much all that's been going on.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Skating Away on the Thin Ice of a New Day" by Jethro Tull

DS Lite Felted Case

2007-03-22T20:55:00.001-05:00

Okay, after a lot of trial and error, I finally came up with the correct dimensions for a felted DS case! Here's what I did.

Yarn: Knit Picks's Wool of the Andes (100% wool), worsted, in the natural color which I dyed with Kool-aid!

Needle Size: 10.5 US

Instructions: It's really pretty simple- just a matter of sewing all of the pieces together in the end. Everything is worked in garter stitch.

You need to make a total of 7 pieces: 3 pieces that are 4.5 x 8 inches, 2 pieces that are 4.5 x 2 inches, and 2 pieces that are 8 x 2 inches. This is how it breaks down:

4.5 x 2: Cast on 22, knit 14 rows, loosely bind off
4.5 x 8: Cast on 22, knit 56 rows, loosely bind off
8 x 2: Cast on 34, knit 14 rows, loosely bind off

Then, once you have all of your pieces knitted up, put them together like so:

Now, felt that thing! Make sure as you felt that you keep an eye on the process, so that it doesn't felt together or shrink too much. When you're finished, cut up an old granola bar box or some other small cardboard box and fold it into roughly the shape of your Nintendo DS, and use that to block your case. Once it's dry, sew on a button and carefully cut out a button hole, and you're done!

Here are some pictures of mine:

* Allison *

(this is a free pattern. Please use for personal use only)

The Coarse Tide Reflects Sky

2007-03-18T21:50:00.000-05:00

We've spent the weekend talking about moving, watching shows on HGTV about real estate, and driving around through random neighborhoods looking at "for sale" signs. All of this is well and good, except there's no way we can afford a house right now. That, and there's the whole lease thing- and the fact that I'm so not looking forward to moving again. So I feel guilty- I don't work. But- with my back how it is, there's not a ton I can do, and with my stubbornness, there's not a ton I WILL do. So I looked into transcribing and even downloaded a sample audio file to practice with and realized that a) I'm not very good at listening, and b) I'm not very good at typing. lol. So that's not going to happen. I keep saying I'm going to make something and sell it on the Internet. I was thinking about knitted handbags or hats or something- but the average asking prices for things like that versus the amount of time and materials that goes into it are really depressing. It really doesn't seem worth it, since it would practically mean that I would be charging just a few dollars over material cost and not paying myself for the time spent. But maybe I should do it anyway. I was looking also at things like stitch markers and customized knitting needles, which seems a little more profitable...but I'm terrible at sculpting anything. However- I WAS a painting major, and polymer clay can be painted, so I'm considering buying some craft paint and giving a few hand-painted knitting needles a go and see how they come out. If nothing else, I can get a few cute sets of needles for myself out of it :) Also, I'm still working on that felted Nintendo DS case- as far as I've seen there is only one free DS-case knitting pattern out there, and it's a lot different from what I'm envisioning so maybe if I can finally get it right I can sell those too. That would, once again, be at hardly a profit since it seems that people just do not pay very much for hand-knitted items, which is a total shame.

Jon is finally feeling better, but now I'm starting to cough. I'm hoping that that is totally unrelated to whatever it was he had, since he acts like he was practically dying. Then again, he tends to be especially whiny when he's sick.

My sister and brother-in-law are visiting next weekend. I think they're going to buy Jon's bike, which is awesome since he hasn't ridden in it like 5 years and it takes up a hell of a lot of space in my guest bedroom. I can also give my sister that hat I made her last month.

I'm going to be pretty busy this week getting the guest bedroom cat-hair-free, since my sister is allergic. The guest bedroom is, of course, the cats favorite room, probably because they know the trouble I have to go through getting their hair off of everything every time my sister or mom want to visit. hateful, hateful kitties.

Anyway- that's what's up lately. I keep having strange dreams, also, but they're not sticking with me long enough to really remember very much after I wake up. Oh well.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Behold! The Night Mare" by The Smashing Pumpkins

Jellybeans for Breakfast

2007-03-16T09:17:00.000-05:00

I finished the Baby Viking Hat today finally! I don't think I'm really that happy with the horns- Jon says they're too skinny, JR says they don't curve enough, and I think they're both right. I'm not 100% sure I knit them correctly, also. But- overall I think it looks really cute so I guess I'm not going to worry about it. I thought that maybe I could figure out a way to get the horns to curve a little bit but I haven't been successful. I was so afraid of the bobbles/rivets on the grey part, but it came out great! Yay! I was going to wait until I had Rachel's baby Ella model the hat for me, but I decided I couldn't wait and ended up using an upside-down vase lol. Here are the pics:

Jon is still sick. He came home from work today after two hours. We went to the doctor yesterday, and he doesn't have anything serious- just a bad cold. The problem is that he has a cold every other week lately, it seems like. Starting to drive me crazy.

The worker guys from the apartment came to take a look at my backdoor today- trying to decide what they want to do to fix it- I'm so aggravated with everything still that I don't care what happens. I just want to stop having to deal with wet floors everytime it rains. I'm done dealing with the office manager here, it appears that the only time anything gets done is when I send an email to her supervisors. I wish we had somewhere better to move to.

* Allison *

Counting the Trees

2007-03-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

My back bedroom is damp. Rain water came in through the back door- again. No, we do not live in a low point of the area. Actually, we are at the top of a small hill. So why does rain come in a ruin the carpet and everything near the door? Because the management company for the apartment complex I live in apparently only hires people who are completely incompetent. About 6 months ago, this also happened- it was way worse then, though, the entire bedroom was wet and most of the hallway- at that time, I suggested that rather than make us live with a big gaping hole under the door, they might put weatherstripping under the door or something. Instead, a very rude office manager suggested that I purchase some sandbags "next time". Yeah, no. I don't think so, that's not my responsibility. So at any rate, I'm just venting. I sent a nasty email, and I'm waiting for a reply. I guess I'm going to be getting a *third* new carpet in that back bedroom, which seems awfully expensive compared to weatherstripping :P If you ever move to Louisville, think twice before renting from any property owned by Research Properties, Inc.

So guess what? I'm a moderator at Get Stitchy! now! So, um, don't break rules or else.

Jon is sick. He's a big baby when he's sick. He makes me nervous and gets extremely clingy. Hooray! I'm afraid he might have laryngitis or something. He's sounding pretty terrible. I'm REALLY hoping I don't come down with it, too. I'm looking forward to drinking green beer this weekend. No, not because I'm Irish, 'cause I'm not. Actually, I'm pretty sure the biggest percentage of my heritage is English. But- I haven't been out drinking in a while and it's time to tie one on lol.

I have one horn left on the baby Viking Hat, and then I will be borrowing Rachel's kid's head to take pictures :)

* Allison *
currently listening to "Headache" by Frank Black

Write it All Down

2007-03-11T21:42:00.000-05:00

So it's been a couple of days since my last post. Hrm, what's happened? In knitting related news, I finished the handbag I was making, and started Chile Con Yarne's Baby Viking Hat to give to Shelby for what will be her second baby. Here's a few pictures of the handbag:

In other news, I went out last Saturday with Pam, Jennifer, and Rachel and had a great time. It's nice to have a group of girlfriends again. We ate at Mimosa Cafe, which was decent Chinese and Vietnamese cuisine for cheap, and then walked around the Highlands for a bit. I bought a really cute necklace at a cute little boutique in the back of the Bacco salon. We had coffee at Heine's Bros. and watched people for a bit and talked, and went to The Knit Nook to pet the yarn. Fun fun. Jennifer and I were talking about going back to The Knit Nook for the cable class next month. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough.

Today, I woke up around 11am with a slight headache. I decided it was probably sinuses, and took a hot shower to relieve it- no such luck. I suffered what I think was my first migraine today. By noon, I was trying to eat lunch but could only stomach 3 bites because the pain was making me nauseous. I lay in bed with the covers over my head blocking the sun from the window until 3. It's now 11pm, and I'm just now starting to feel like the headache has gone away. We did manage to get up to Target for a minute this afternoon when the pain died down some, I needed to get a yoga mat. I got a pretty orange one, hooray! I've been all about orange lately.

Anyway- that's pretty much all I have today. I'm losing steam lol.

* Allison *
currently listening to "The Emperor's New Clothes" by Sinead O'Connor

Float like a Phantom

2007-03-08T00:32:00.000-05:00

So today is International Women's Day! Tell the women in your life who have made a difference what they mean to you.

I am almost finished with the knitted part of the purse I'm making. I didn't measure the bottom and got a bit carried away while watching a movie and wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, so I ended up folding over most of it, which isn't bad actually because it makes for a much sturdier bottom. I need to knit up one more piece to go over a handle, and then I can start piecing everything together and sew in a fabric lining.

I decided that I was ready to do something about my weight besides bitch about it. I bought a few exercise DVDs that I hope I'll push myself to do about 4 times a week, and I'm going to try to be more responsible about what I eat. My goal is to lose 40 lbs.

The DVDs I bought are Yoga Booty Ballet Master Series: Goddess Booty and Yoga Core and Dance Off the Inches: Calorie Blasting Party. I did the second disc of the Yoga Booty Ballet set this afternoon, and the Dance Off disc as well. YBB was really challenging for someone like me with limited previous experience with yoga or Pilate's- in fact, there were several times I had to sit down and just watch because there was no way in hell I was able to do what those women were doing. I do think that a good portion of the stretches they were doing were something I can do, though, and I felt good after finishing the workout. The hostesses were slightly aggravating, in that they are both really, rib-showingly skinny, and sort of strangely perky to boot. I got used to it after the first 10 minutes though. I'm pretty sore now, so I definitely worked some muscles my previous workout wasn't getting.

The second DVD, the Dance Off one, was much more fun, and easy for a beginner to do. The women in the video were normal but healthy body weights, ranging from thin to slightly pudgy, which made me feel more comfortable. The hostess is uber perky, but in a way that is less aggravating and more just energetic. I actually really enjoyed this DVD and didn't even realize that 40 minutes had passed.

So there are my reviews, I guess lol.

In other news, I'm also trying to plan my days a little better, more structured, so that I get things done. So I may not be as available to chat as I have been, but I will be around. I really need to get on some sort of schedule or I'll continue feeling like I'm useless.

I've been having crazy dreams lately. Last night, I dreamt that a bunch of people I knew in High School and I were faking our deaths for one reason or another, and in order to do that, we kept mannequins of ourselves in our coffins during the day and then moved them out and slept in our own coffins at night, since dead people can't own property. This means that we had to dig up our own graves every night. Also in my dream, I was dating John Krasinski, or Jim Halpert from The Office- and he was helping me distract this dry cleaner or something so that I could sneak into the back, where there was someone who could help me solve this problem that I can't remember anything about but that involved most of the people who I shared a graveyard with. Very weird. I wonder if this has anything to do with waking up this morning wanting to make changes in my life.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Finding You" by The Go-betweens

Give the Past a Slip

2007-03-06T13:18:00.000-05:00

You know what? I can't stand to listen to "live" recordings. I realize that in order to be a music snob I'm supposed to prefer the "live" versions, but I don't.

That has nothing to do with anything, though.

Jon wants to buy kites. I don't think I've flown a kite since I was 11 years old. Maybe earlier than that. I'm actually kind of excited about this. This coming weekend, though, it's supposed to rain, and I made plans with Pam and Rachel (and I sent a message to Jennifer but I don't know if she got it yet) to go to lunch (haven't decided where yet- if it's going to rain, maybe walking around The Highlands isn't such a great idea).

My mind is wandering all over the place right now.

I asked Jon to make an appointment with a doctor for his yearly physical and also to get a semen analysis. I had all of the blood tests and other crap they do as far as preliminary infertility testing done back in Richmond, and other than a history of hormonal imbalences I was healthy and there was no medical reason why I couldn't stay pregnant. I need to know that it's not my fault, I guess. If they find nothing wrong with him, then we'll keep trying. If they do, and it can be fixed, then we'll keep trying. If they do and it can't be fixed, then I need to learn how to be okay with that. I have thought about it and thought about it and I don't think I'm willing to go through fertility treatments. It's too invasive and the success rate isn't great and I just don't want to go through that emotionally. If I can't be a mother, I don't know what I'll be. I'm considering going back to school to get my teaching degree. I don't know yet, and I don't know anything about the local colleges and universities and their art departments.

So we used the tax return on a ridiculously large TV. I mean it's not the biggest TV ever, but it's so big that it barely fits in the entertainment center. 47", I think. Jon picked it out. I'm hoping that now he'll shut the hell up about TVs. I'm sure that he'll just find something else to go on and on and on about, though. I've already had to shoot down his dreams of buying an Xbox 360. Meanwhile, I still have to figure out how to pay for the periodontal surgeries I needed- I guess Jon didn't think about that when he bought the TV. I think I'm going to have to re-schedule for next October, when there will be more overtime at GSC. Sigh.

Mom and I were talking about going to VB this summer for a spy mission lol. My uncle ran off-sold his house- lied to my grandparents- took a bunch of their money under false pretenses- and what is my grandmother doing a year or so later? Worrying about him. Missing him. I love her and it makes me sick that he did this to her. So an old neighbor of his calls my mom and says that my uncle is hanging out at this bar near where I used to work on Bonney Rd., which is a big surprise to us since we were pretty sure that he'd moved out of the area. Now my grandfather and grandmother keep hinting like they want someone to go down there and "see if he's okay". Honestly, I don't want to see the bastard ever again, but if Mom goes I'll most likely go with her because a) I don't want her to do anything crazy if she does come across him, b) I have a better feel for the bar scene down there, having been a horrible drunk when I lived there, and c) I told a few people I might be visiting sometime so that would give me a chance to see everyone again. So.....maybe.

Um- I can't think of anything else to write about. I keep getting distracted by other things. So....I guess that's it for today :D

* Allison *
currently listening to "Whip It" by DEVO

Blame it on Plate Tectonics

2007-03-01T00:51:00.000-05:00

Oh lord have mercy, it's started again. What, you ask? Only the single most ridiculous time of year for me.....a time where all self-control flies out the window and I'm reduced to a shaking, sugar-frenzied shell of a human being. The time is Easter Candy Madness time. It's the jelly beans, especially, that do it- I've avoided this for the past two years by just not eating any jelly beans- but I couldn't help but buy two bags the other day, they were on sale for 50 cents- and that was that. now I have to eat as many as possible before Easter until I either die, gain 8 thousand lbs, or get so sick of looking at them I stop. I'm a disgusting person. LOL.

Today (or yesterday, technically, since it's almost 1am) was Jon's 30th birthday. To celebrate, we went out to a hibachi place called Shogun with Pam and Scott, Jennifer and Brian, and Josh and Rachael (and their baby, Ella). It was a good time, definately. This was my first time meeting Josh and Rachael, and I really liked both of them so hopefully we can include them in more of our social engagements. Unfortunately tonight, the baby got scared by the chef's tricks and the fire, etc. and Rachael ended up leaving early to take the baby home. Jennifer and I tried to entertain her so Rachael could at least eat something undisturbed, but apparently I'm the Sux0rz at making babies stop crying and so that didn't work out. Sigh.

So I didn't get to sleep this morning until like 8am because as I was getting ready for bed last night, I remembered suddenly that I had promised Jon pancakes on the morning of his birthday. After going though all of the cupboards, I realized that I did not have pancake mix, or all of the ingredients to make it from scratch since I didn't have the mix, or syrup- so I ended up sneaking out of the house at 2:30am to run up to the grocery store to buy pancake mix and syrup. Thank goodness for 24-hour grocery stores. At any rate, by the time I got back I knew that if I went to sleep I wouldn't be able to wake back up at 6 to fix breakfast before Jon had to get ready for work so I decided to play Dance Dance Revolution for an hour to wake myself up some and then played around on the internet for a bit- by the time it was time to make breakfast, I was a zombie- but, Jon really appreciated it and bragged about me at work today so I guess it was worth it. Meanwhile, the cats woke me up at 2-ish this afternoon so I only got about 5 hours of sleep, but I'm not even tired right now from all of the sugar I injested earlier (damn you, jellybeans).

In other news- I got halfway finished with the handbag I'm knitting and sort of got bored. I will get back to it, probably tomorrow, but I needed a break I guess. I hate when that happens.

I'm much less stressed that I was at the beginning of the week, by the way. Things sort of worked themselves out- or if they didn't, at least they calmed down a bit. Hooray for that.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Singular Girl" by the Old 97's

There's a World Inside a World That's Not Okay

2007-02-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

Well, I finished that little hat I was messing around with. I'm not going to pretend it's super awesome or anything, 'cause, well, it's made with fun fur, but it's cute and maybe one of these days I'll get a picture up. I'm working on a handbag now, also without a pattern, that I think is going to end up pretty cute even if I've already used way more yarn than I imagined I would need. Meanwhile, I am in love with my Denise needles. So the Get Stitchy drama seems to have died down mostly- I'm still upset with what happened after all of that, but I'm no longer conscientiously (holy crap I seriously spelled that right on the first try, go me!) not posting.

It's like 11pm and the jerks upstairs are running their washing machine. Thanks for the noise.

I am actually overly stressed out right now, but it's nothing I want to talk about so I'm not going to go into it. Hopefully logging in to World of Warcraft here in a minute and killing some worgen will make me feel slightly better. I at least wanted to update a little bit here, even if it's nothing really important or substantial.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Stop!" by the Bens

Aerial Views of our Lives

2007-02-23T23:46:00.000-05:00

Sigh- it's been a long couple of days.

I haven't been knitting a lot the past three days, mainly because the hat I was working on got all kinds of screwed up somehow and I frogged the whole effort. I cast back on and got a few rows re-done, but I just haven't had my heart in it. I'll probably pick it up later tonight and try to get some work done.

Went to my first LYS last night! Not like that's super exciting news or anything, but it was interesting. My husband was amazed at all of the different colors and textures of yarn (but horrified at the prices- he's such a cheapskate). We sort of walked in on a Stitch and Bitch, though, and the women participating were all much older than me, so it was kind of weird. I felt like an intruder. I did buy some Brittany needles in a size 13 though. The place was called the Knit Nook, in case you were wondering, down in the Highlands in Louisville.

Also last night, we went out to this place called the Pink Door to eat- I had sushi and dumplings, which were excellent, and some cocktail that was absolutely disgusting- alot of people got these rice bowls that were apparently pretty nasty, and as usual, I was asked to complain about the food lol. I'm like the official Geek Squad food complainer- I don't know if that's because I generally try to be fair and nice about it or if it's because no one wants to risk having THEIR dessert spat in so they leave that up to me. lol. At any rate, after that, and after standing around watching people playing twister (and the hairy backs and butt crack views that result from adults playing twister) we decided to get out as fast as possible. Pam and Scott went with us to Applebees for a little while, which was fun. Jon shot soda out of his nose at one point, so you know it was a good time haha.

So I've been drinking this Raspberry Leaf tea everyday because I was told that it a) helps encourage fertility, and b) eases cramps. So far, NO GOOD. Worst cramps EVAR.

JR turned me on to this guy Vance Gilbert- if you're interested in folk-type music with strong vocals, check him out. Also, check out the links over to the side there---->
I have been adding things here and there, including blogs I read and other things, but today's big addition was my good friend Reuben's new website showcasing his paintings and drawings.

Also, I changed my mind. My favorite market pantry sparkling water flavor is now Tangerine Lime.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Twice Struck" by Vance Gilbert

Shut Out What They Say

2007-02-22T01:15:00.000-05:00

So there's nothing worse than drunk blogging, but here I am doing it anyway.

We went out tonight to celebrate a sort of friend's birthday. Afterward, we met some closer friends for drinks- and some of the corporate guys who are also friends of our friends were attending. I had a good time, don't get me wrong- but I sort of feel like we (as in Jon and I) were used as the butt of the table's jokes more than I normally would allow. What can I say, though, to people who could influence my husband's future at this company? I'm a Capricorn, I don't like to be ANYONE's joke. Ever. I'm way too serious for that, normally. I let certain things get by, cause as much as I'm ashamed of my past, I'm an honest person and I can't lie about it, either- that, and I realize that if I can't stand behind everything I've ever done, then I'm not being proud of who I am. Even the worst decisions I've ever made have lead to me being the person I am today. So when people talk about those decisions, I have two choices- pretend that I don't know what they're talking about, which is dishonest and not my style.... or, continue on as if I'm not bothered by the topic at all- which isn't completely honest, either. I mean- there are points of my past that are downright embarrasing- but I can't be embarrased, right? They resulted from decisions that were MINE, not my families or my teachers or anyone elses. That should be enough for me to be proud of, right? Except for that whole episode of my life, though it makes for good storytelling, makes me seriously cringe inside. I'm not ashamed of who I've been, but a part of me wishes that it hadn't of happened. If that even makes any sense.

Actually, I realize that this whole thing is pretty cryptic. I don't mean for it to be, but I'd rather not explain every little thing, and as mentioned earlier, I'm pretty drunk.

I guess the biggest thing is that I wanted to come off as someone more like who I am currently, not who I was 5 years ago.

Anyway

So the switching to water rather than diet soda thing has really worked in my favor- I've lost 4 lbs. in the past 3 days, and I'm attributing all of it to water weight from my (previously) very high sodium consumption. I may be wrong, but don't tell me so as the water thing is probably better for me in more ways than that, so let me believe that this 4 lb. difference is all because of that. :)

Ugh.

Ever have one of those days were you feel like no one understands you, but then you realize that it's because you really can't express yourself very clearly?

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Have You Forgotten?" by the Red House Painters

Before it Goes Stale

2007-02-19T23:46:00.000-05:00

I have a new love- it is Target's Market Pantry Raspberry Blackberry sparkling water. It makes giving up diet soda (and all that extra sodium from diet soda) pretty easy. It has no calories, no sodium, and no caffeine, but it doesn't taste like crap. It kind of tastes like kool-aid, if kool-aid was carbonated. Yeah- and no, Target didn't pay me to say that lol.

I burnt the roof of my mouth earlier, and it hurts like crazy.

Anyway- today was pretty "blah". I was in a piss-poor mood all day, actually. The upstairs neighbors were loud most of the day, the whore across the hall saw me unloading groceries this evening and stood outside for the sole purpose of glaring at me while I ignored her- and I think I'm getting sick with Jon's cold or flu or whatever he had. I've had a headache pretty much since I woke up. Whine, whine, whine. Also, I don't think I'll be posting on the Get Stitchy forums for a while- I'm tired of getting pissed off. There was a particular comment today from a girl who consistantly manages to say things that irk me and I just don't really want to have to deal with it. I'll probably still read occasionally, only because it is a good learning tool for me, as I'm not an advanced knitter by any stretch of the imagination and there are many different things discussed there that I would like to learn.

Yup. So I reached into my coat pocket today and without realizing it completely crushed my favorite pair of sunglasses- so I had to buy another pair while I was at Target....I HATE spending more than like 12 bucks on sunglasses cause I know that inevitably I'll break/sit on/ruin them. I found some sort of cute ones so that's good- now let's see if I can manage to keep them in one piece for at least a month or two.

I need to start knitting things to sell. I've had an etsy account for a bajillion years, but I've never posted anything for sale. I started a hat a little while ago- with some really bulky green yarn held together with a little bit of some furry pink stuff that I had laying around- I don't have a pattern, I'm just sort of going at it pretty willy-nilly, actually- but I'm hoping it'll look cute enough to put up. I have three sets of bamboo handles, so I ought to make a few little purses or something. Other than that, I don't know what to do. Blah.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Le Pain Perdu" by Cibo Matto

As Promised...

2007-02-19T00:28:00.000-05:00

.....here are some more photos of the green hat I made for my sister, being worn by me.

---------

Don't really have anything else to talk about today- been busy, back hurts, trying to cut out soda from my diet which sucks but I'm hoping I'll lose some weight since just exercise and eating sort of better aren't cutting it. Yup.

No More Sleepy Dreaming

2007-02-18T02:13:00.000-05:00

I finished the Flowers on a Grave hat!!!! I hope Amber likes it. Here are some pictures:

Here it is pre-felting:

And pre-felting on Jon's head:

And post-felting, being blocked on a rolled up towel:

And again, blocking, top-view:

Hooray! When it's dry, I'll take some photos of me wearing it so you can see what it looks like on. Unfortunately, having wet peruvian wool on my head doesn't seem like a great idea to me right now.

Just 'cause I'm in a picture posting mood, here's a picture of my friend Jennifer Foreman who came over to knit today and started her first major-reading-a-pattern project, a baby blanket!

We also visited each other's Animal Crossing towns, and I took some of her apples to plant. Now I just need oranges and pears- Pam has oranges, so if any of you have pears and want to link up let me know. Word.

Jon is still sick, but he seems to be feeling a little better tonight. He isn't coughing as much, at least. I really hope I don't get his cold. His birthday is the 28th by the way- and I have no idea what to get him. He says the Wii was his birthday present, but I want to buy him something small to wrap so he has something to open on the big day. He'll be 30 this year.

So as expected, one of the apartment complex maintenance guys came to look at my furnace, not a specialist. He tells me that there's a loose wire (huh?! Isn't that dangerous?) Says he thinks he tightened it, but he's going to send this OTHER apartment employee who is "a whiz at that sort of thang" to have a look at it. Guess who never showed up? I bet you guessed correctly. So I don't know what to do. On a positive note, it DOES feel *slightly* warmer in here, but not by a ton. Oh, also, the guy they sent? The guy next door who I've been complaining about. Like I totally wanted him in my apartment. Grrrr.

Anyway- in other news- one of the girls I was talking about being pregnant is pregnant with twins, which means that there is only one slot left if my "pregnancies come in threes" theory is true. I'm crossing my fingers I'll fill that last slot, but I'm sure I won't be. It's really fucking depressing. I think I started a little bit of an uncomfortable situation in the get stitchy forums by speaking up about infertility- If you're pissed at me for it and you're reading this, I'm not sorry for adding a different perspective- especially since I already knew that I wasn't the only one in the group who gets slightly hurt everytime someone complains about their children- I am sorry, however, for making anyone feel bad.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Break it Down Again" by Tears for Fears

Whatever and Ever, Amen

2007-02-15T22:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I am almost ready to take Amber's hat off of the needles. I switched over to DPN's without ruining it, by the way! Hooray me! I am still kind of afraid of them, because it just seems so confusing with all those oversized toothpick looking things sticking out of my work instead of a nice circular or straight needle, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I still don't know how to cast on to them, but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually, when I need to.

It is so COLD in my apartment. I complained to the rental office- again- today, they say they'll fill out a work order to have someone come "look" at it. That pretty much means, I'm sure, that some bumbling idiot of a maintanence guy will come over here, open the utility closet, say that it looks alright to them, and leave and that will be that.....except that WON'T be that, because when that happens I raise hell. I'm sitting here typing this wearing thick sweat pants, a tank top, a pullover sweater, a cardigan sweater with the hood up, a hat, a pair of knee-length toe socks, and a thick pair of socks over that.....and I'm STILL cold. Jon's wicked sick- ran a slight fever most of the day- and he's getting chills. When you get chills in an apartment that is less than 60 degrees, it's not fun. I feel really bad for him. I have a copy of the state rental laws, and if they don't comply then I'll be notifying the proper authorities. We are entitled to reasonable amounts of heat.

You know, we really liked Kentucky when we moved here. I go on and on about how nice Louisville is to my family, and until recently I meant it- but I'm running into more and more completely fucking inconsiderate, defensive, and just plain STUPID people lately- my neighbors, the people who run the rental office, etc. Since I've moved here, I've had to complain at more restaurants (which I HATE doing, but I mean, come on.....if I ordered an appitizer and it's coming out after I've finished my meal because you forgot, don't fucking get an attitude when I don't want it anymore), explain completely simple concepts more, and get held up by more people's idiocy than ever before. Everyone acts like I'm so MEAN- and apparently Louisville was voted the friendliest city by some magazine last year- it's that everyone thinks that by smiling and coming up with a sob story, that I'm supposed to be okay with whatever part of life they're failing miserably at and continue on with my life smiling and humming a happy tune. That's not the way life works, unfortunately. If people consistantly screw up, I'm going to let them know. If the rental office thinks that pretending everything's not their fault is going to make me go away, they're wrong. Blah. No offense to the few people I've come across in this area that weren't complete retards.

Anyway- I'm going to go knit, maybe I'll finish the hat this week if my fingers don't freeze off.

* Allison *
currently listening to "Battle of Who Could Care Less" by Ben Folds Five

Through Hell and High Tide

2007-02-15T00:22:00.000-05:00

So today was Valentine's Day- or I guess yesterday, technically. I spent all week telling people that there was no reason to be depressed on V-Day, that it was just a day.....and now I'M depressed. Not about the day itself, I guess- just certain things that are going on. Jon was a good husband, as always- he suprised me with chocolate and a sweet card, and we picked up some sushi for dinner....and he bought a Wii!!! Our friend Scott was getting rid of his, so we bought it from him. So those things were good....

However- I got all of 4 hours of sleep today and last night, thanks to my terrorist cats. I've used up all of my patience for bad animals, and tonight they will be thrown into a closet in the dark if they don't watch it. When, at 10am, I was finally able to sneak into my room without them noticing and get a little bit of sleep, my body was in "nap mode" so I woke up a couple of hours later. So I was already in a bad mood today- and then Jon tells me he has a fever and a bad cold, so he comes home sick as hell. Great. I don't like sick people. That sounds harsh, but it's true. I don't have it in me to baby a sick person, and I would absolutely hate it if anyone tried to do it to me when I was sick. I know that Jon needs a certain amount of babying, though, so I really try. Really. These aren't the big things, though.

Jon got a message from his friend Josh to call him ASAP. I delivered that message, since Jon never checks his myspace. I already knew in my gut what it was all about, but I crossed my fingers that I was either wrong, or that I could stop being the sort of person who gets bothered by these things. So Jon called Josh, and sure enough, his stupid wife is pregnant.

I don't like Josh and Krystal. They are best friends with the stupid whore that is Jon's ex girlfriend. They did some shit-talking about me years ago after having met me for all of like an hour and a half to the ex, who gleefully called my husband and relayed every hurtful thing they said about me. Aside from that, though, they are exactly the sort of people I would normally avoid socially. I do my best not to interfere with Jon's friendship with them, regardless of my feelings, though, because he's known them a long time....and even IF they totally disrespected me, and didn't bother to RSVP to our wedding or even TALK to Jon for almost 3 years after he proposed to me, whatever. Jon's a big boy, he can pick his own friends.

Twyla, the ex, is also pregnant, by the way. So is a girl who I have held a grudge against for several years, who used to be my best friend. It's like all of the people I like the least are getting pregnant, and I'm still failing.

The only good thing about this is that like deaths, pregnancies come in 3s. Krystal makes the 4th person I know who is pregnant, which opens up two more pregnancy slots. (My best friend Shelby is also pregnant). Hopefully I will be one of those 2.

I hurt my back playing baseball on Wii Sports. I sometimes forget lately that I have certain physical restrictions- its been a while since I've really hurt....so I guess this was my lesson in overdoing it.

Anyway.....I'm being lame. I'm just tired of trying and trying and trying and taking test after test and either getting a negative or losing it a few weeks later. According to the last doctor I saw, there is no medical reason this is happening to me, other than some small fluxuations in my hormone levels occasionally. I'm told that I should stop stressing out, that that affects fertility, too....but how the hell am I supposed to stop stressing out when every nasty piece of shit who opens her legs for 3 seconds can get pregnant and I can't? Blah. I need to stop writing about this.

Oh- also- Mercury is in retrograde. Be careful driving, and about how you word things to people you care about. travel and communication are wonky until March 7th.

* Allison *
currently listening to "What Difference Does it Make?" by the Smiths

They Had Swords, They Had Horses

2007-02-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

I'm approx. halfway finished knitting the Flowers on a Grave hat that I'm making for Amber (and for the Get Stitchy Green-hat-along this month....I really need to buckle down and really get some knitting done, but I've been having a hard time getting into it. I feel like there's so much to be done lately, and I never feel like I've accomplised everything I should have. I hate feeling rushed when there's no real reason for it. I think the biggest reason for that is lack of "good" sleep, and the reason for the lack of sleep is my cats. I am starting to regret my decision to have "indoor" cats. Don't freak out and think I'm going to chuck my cats outside now, 'cause I won't. I just need to come up with a plan to keep them out of the bedroom, away from anything they can destroy, and away from carpet to pull up or doors to rattle back and forth in the door jams until I want to pull out my hair. Kyo especially is driving me crazy- he keeps digging his claws into my arms and legs while I sleep, on purpose, to try to get me to wake up. He wants attention. He wants absolutely nothing to do with me during the hours I'm awake and willing to hang out and be happy cat lady, but as soon as my eyes are shut he freaks out and needs his mommy. Jon wants to buy one of those big cages people keep their dogs in. I'm pretty sure our cats will figure out how to get out of them, just like they've done with their kennels. I don't know what to do. Tonight, I'm locking them in the bathroom with a towel wedged under the door and hoping for the best. Anyway, the point of all of this was, here's a photo of my progress on the hat:

I got this thing in the mail today telling me that I'm eligible for this survey thing because I take surveys about clothes for this one company once a month or something, and I filled out the online form for this thing and apparently they're going to send me this scanner thing so I can scan all of my grocery barcodes with it and upload it to their site so they can monitor what I purchase or whatever. Yeah. Anyway- like the clothing thing I do, they reward me with gift certificates for restaurants and stuff so that's neat I guess.

Valentine's Day. I went shopping for a couple of small things for Jon today (his big gift were the Munchkin card games that I told him to order), and it was a freaking madhouse! There were housewives and retirees swinging their carts around to block aisles to keep other people from grabbing the boxed candy or card they had their eyes on. The Valentine's section of Target looked like a bomb had exploded. There was this sort of scurrying silence- no one was talking, no one was being friendly, everyone was on a mission. It was pretty freaky. If you haven't bought something for your significant other yet, I'd give up and make something at home if I were you. If it was that bad during the middle of the day on a weekday, I can't even imagine what tomorrow evening will be like.

So we went over to Michael Cardenas' house on Sunday to eat cake and play the Wii. OMG I need one now. We had alot of fun. Here is a picture of Jon playing:

Jon took pictures of me, too, but his superpower is taking the absolute most unflattering photos of me possible no matter what the situation.

Yeah- anyway- I'm sort of a space cadet right now. Im tired, but I'm not tired enough to actually sleep. If that makes any sense. I'm going to go play WoW now.

* Allison *
currently listening to "If My Heart Was a Car" By The Old 97's

Awake from the Nightmare

2007-02-11T02:00:00.000-05:00

I wish I didn't have a stat counter here, because I'm getting increasingly depressed at how little traffic I get.

So I'm a little under halfway finished with Amber's hat. It's a total pain in the ass, because I'm not used to circular needles so I feel like there's alot more strain on my wrist then there should be. That, and after using bulky yarn and size 13 straights for my last two projects, this seems so small and tedious. It's looking good, though- the colors are gorgeous and they're sort of striping which is great. I'd much rather have stripes for this than blotches of colors. I'm pretty scared about getting to the point where I have to switch over to DPNs, as I've never used them before. I was looking at a video on how to do magic loop knitting, and I don't know if I'd rather do that than use the double-points, or not. Since I already bought the DPNs I guess I may as well figure it out.

In other news, I had this crazy dream last night that I was part of this organization that cleaned up spacecraft crashes or something- and this spaceship crashed in this school playground, so we had to go in and clear out all of the kids and teachers and wipe their memories, and then enter the ship to make sure everyone was okay and unhurt before we fixed everything and sent them on their way- but there was something wrong with this particular mission and the aliens weren't friendly and I was put in charge of a group of people I didn't trust and everything went bad pretty quickly. I don't remember all of the details but I had to run, and everything went sepia-toned and I was trying to get away so hard that my running turned into leaping, and I was able to jump over small buildings and cars and stuff without much of a problem but the aliens were on these stilt-type things and were moving really fast. It feels like I've had this dream before- like a few years ago, before I started having the Icecream Social Nightmare Club dream series. I'm hoping that that means I'll be having more ISNC dreams soon.

For those of you who don't know about my Icecream Social Nightmare Club (ISNC) dreams, let me summarize. I had a series of dreams, like I'd say about 6 within a month of each other, of these horrible nightmares. I don't remember all of them, but a few of them had similar running-from-stuff-by-leaping-over-things-but-getting-caught-anyway theme. There was a werewolf dream, there was a stuck in a mall and being chased by shadowy figures dream, etc. That's not the important part. The great thing about these dreams is that at the beginning, I was always in this nice, southern upscale neighborhood on a sunny, summer day. I'd walk up to this nice two-story house where there are about 5 elderly people sitting on the big wraparound porch. They are friendly, grandparent-like people, with kind smiles, sipping iced tea. An older lady pulls me over to a table filled with icecream sundaes and toppings and invites me to help myself...so I start making myself a bowl of icecream and she tells me that they are the Icecream Social Nightmare Club, and that I'm about to have a horrible nightmare and they can't do anything about it. Then I fall in to the main part of the dream. During the nightmare, I see the old people sometimes- an old man walking past in the background looking at me sympathetically, an old lady driving past waving- and then when it's over I am back on the porch and they pat me on the back and say "there, there it wasn't THAt bad, now was it?" and I wake up. I'm pretty sure these were the greatest dreams ever lol.

So in REAL life, Jon got a haircut today, and it's pretty terrible. Not like his hair on our wedding day terrible, but a longer version of that. I don't think the woman knew what the hell she was doing- and since I told Jon that I was tired of talking to stylists for him, that he was an adult and could do it himself for once, etc., he didn't do a thing about it. He said he was "tired of sitting there". So I'm hoping that it will grow out better. It's not that it's too short, it's just that she tapered it in very strange places. It's really pretty hard to describe.

We're going over to our friend Michael's tomorrow to play his Wii. I haven't played with one yet, I'm looking forward to it. We're also planning to eat cake, since Michael pretty much makes the best cakes ever.

Yup. Once again, I have nothing super important to talk about lol.

* Allison *

currently listening to: "So real" by Jeff Buckley

Put Their Problems on the Shelf

2007-02-09T00:44:00.000-05:00

I got my Denise needles today! Hooray! I started Amber's hat, as in I cast on, but that's about all I've done with it. I was busy with about a million other things this afternoon, once I got out of my funk long enough to get them done. I even drew a page in my sketchbook, for the first time in I don't know how long. Here's a photo:

I talked to Mom earlier. We talked about the February Dad left, and the February my Grandmama died. We talked about disappointment and disgust. We talked about stupid last names and redneck neighbors. I felt a little better.

* Allison *

currently listening to "In Other Words" by Ben Kweller

Story that Repeats

2007-02-08T12:32:00.000-05:00

So about an hour and a half ago, my sister was married for the second time to a guy I'm unsure about. They're on their way to Florida now to talk to some school about a graduate program HE wants to enroll for. My sister will now have a stupid last name. I hope I'm wrong about what will happen next.

My Denise needles aren't here yet, so I haven't started that hat yet. I wish they would get here, I haven't knitted anything in a few days and although my wrists probably appreciate the break, I'm sort of stressed out. I guess I could draw, since I keep telling myself I will start keeping a sketchbook again, but I'm afraid. I wish I knew why a few pages of white paper were so terrifying lately. Maybe I will sharpen my pencils today and sit down and at least try.

Dad hasn't called in a hell of a long time- not since he was here visiting, on my birthday. So it's been almost a month. I wonder what the hell is up with that. I think subconsciously he avoids us in February. Just like subconsciously I hate all men in February. And Amber seeks approval from everyone in February. She tried to call him to tell him that she's getting married, and he never called her back. I think it's hilarious that the last shrink I went to tried to tell me that all of my problems stem from my mother's coldness, when I think it's pretty obvious that my father is the villian.

I'm in a strange mood today. I'm at one level in love with everyone I ever knew, and on another level pissed off at everything. I miss certain people I can't find. It amazes me that anyone could manage to not have even the slightlest amount of internet presence nowadays. In a way, I miss Va. Beach- but not enough to really want to ever go there again.

I think I'm sick. My throat feels coated. Maybe that's why I'm in such a foul mood.

* Allison *
currently listening to: "Blood Sings" by Suzanne Vega

Okay, still getting used to it here-

2007-02-07T13:15:00.000-05:00

I'm really not very good at learning new things. I get frustrated.

At anyrate, though I was unable to figure out how to move my old blog to here (or to get rid of the two that I did move that didn't go into the right place time-line-wise), I'm thinking this move is for the better anyway. If nothing else, maybe Jon will stop making fun of me for keeping a myspace blog. lol.

So I have "Pour Some Sugar On Me" Stuck in my head. This is the worst day EVAR so far.

I'm not working on anything new. Jon let me order some Denise Interchangeable needles ( http://www.knitdenise.com/pages/about-the-kit ) for Valentine's Day so I'm waiting for them to arrive before I start making this for Amber:
http://www.theanticraft.com/archive/samhain05/flowersonagrave.htm (without the flower, and in green/blue)

Speaking of Amber, she's getting married tomorrow. I'm still pretty unsure about how I feel about this. I don't hate my soon-to-be brother-in-law, but I worry about her future. They seem to get along alright now, but he's a Capricorn and she's a Sagittarius. That, and I kind of feel like they rushed the wedding (duh- they're not even having a wedding, they're just seeing a justice of the peace on their way to Florida to talk to some school about a graduate program for HIM). That's the biggest thing, I guess. I wonder if he plans on going to school full-time for an extended amount of time and expects his wife to work and pay for it. They've been living together this long, what would a few more years until they're both out of school matter? Instead, he's talking marriage and it seems really fishy to me. That and he's been really wishy-washy about school, period. He quit, then went back, then changed majors, then I don't know what all. He was doing fine as a psych student and then freaked out and wanted to go to school for music, and then stopped doing that, and I don't even know what the fuck he's doing anymore. Also I don't think he pays enough attention to her (and believe me, she needs lots of it) and I still get the feeling that she's sort of faking happy a little bit. Oh well, what can I do. I'm not going to ruin her day tomorrow or anything, so I guess I'll just see what happens. Or get used to it. Or whatever.

So yeah.

Blah.

That's it for now, I just got distracted by the phone and I can't remember what I was trying to get to with this.

* Allison *

Have Mercy on Me

2007-02-07T00:27:00.001-05:00

Hi. It's February. Some of you know what that means to me. For the rest of you, please don't piss me off this month because I really just can't handle anymore stress. I haven't had a very hard time the past three Februarys, but this one is shaping up to be pretty terrible. I don't like being depressed. I don't like fighting against my subconscious. And I really don't like getting weepy because of stupid shit.
I had this retarded dream last night- I was in a classroom with a bunch of people including some lame actors like Dustin Diamond and Tori Spelling but also people I've known in my life including this girl I was friends with in third grade named Rachael who always had french braids (she was still a third grader in my dream) and Roger. I don't know if many of you know who Roger is- I don't talk about him much because honestly he didn't mean alot to me. I didn't mean alot to him, either, so don't try to act like I'm a jerk. He was someone I was "seeing" before I met Jonathan, and someone I stopped seeing more or less without drama when I decided I liked Jonathan better. It was a non-relationship. To talk about Roger, you have to talk about his clothes. He was one of those black men who make good money and want to make sure you know it by buying really crazy clothes. He had enough "outfits" to get through at least three months without repeating one- and when I say outfits, I mean EVERYTHING matched. Shoes dyed specifically to match a certain silk shirt, etc. with boxers, pants, and a hat that either matched or complimented flawlessly. All of his shoes were snake skin or ostrich skin or something like that. He had more shoes than my sister. That's saying something. At any rate, Roger died a few years ago- at least, that's what I was told. Heart failure or something. I dno't think about it alot, because we weren't close. I'm thinking about him now, I guess, because another ex who I have been much closer to over the years until recently had some problems with his heart not long ago and it sort of shook me up a little bit. More than a little bit.
Anyway, back to the dream. In the dream, Roger's clothes didn't match. I sat there in my desk trying to figure out what was wrong, and why his clothes didn't match. In my dream, it meant something tragic, but I couldn't figure out what it was. Suddenly, the room was filled with animal handlers walking around with various rodents and birds for the class to hold and examine. I had parrots on each shoulder and the little girl, Rachael, was cowering into my side like a shy child does with it's mother. Then I woke up.
That really wasn't what I wanted to blog about today, though.
I don't know what I wanted to blog about, really. I've been reading all of Pam's archives in her livejournal, and it's funny watching all of our similarities and differences come to light. We probably would have hated each other's guts a few years ago, but I think that maybe that was when we were the most similar. the early 20's really are about growing up and shaking free of all of the strange ideas and restraints slapped onto us by the people who raised us. That, and screwing up and learning from it.
I heard from the periodontis office today, who heard back from my insurance company- the 4 surgerys and 3 implants I need to finish up with this guy are going to cost me $1,157. When I hung up the phone I nearly cried. I decided I'm not going to think about this or try to figure it out until a few days from now. I'm hoping by then the shock will have worn off and I'll be back in problem-solving mode.
I guess my sister is getting married in three days. I haven't heard from her today. I want her to be happy.
It's very cold. right now it is 5 degrees outside. I'm wearing alot of clothes. I hate wearing lots of layers, I feel like I'm choking.
The scarf I decided to make for Jennifer Foreman is finished! It's pretty, I like it. I would post pictures but I don't want to get up and out from under this blanket. It's a light blue/dark blue/green alpaca blend yarn (patons rumor in halcyon heather) in the same pattern as the orange scarf I made for myself last week, except I didn't make it as wide. I think it was 17 cast on instead of 26. I hope she likes it.
Jon let me order the denise interchangable needle set for my Valentine's Day present, I'm pretty excited to start my next project with them. He ordered his present from me today, which was three more variations on the Munchkins game. We love that game. I think he's getting the expansion for the original, and the Bytes version, and the Spy version.
Did I tell you we went to a Heroes of Azeroth TCG tournament last weekend? I got schooled by a bunch of sweaty teenage boys lol. It was actually kind of fun. We might go back if we re-build our decks. I came really close to beating a Paladin during my second match. Everyone else beat me quickly and with little effort lol. We traded for some awesome cards, though. This is Jon's fault- I was never this geeky.
Anyway- I guess I'm going to brew another cup of tea and wander around the interwebz for a while.

Trying to figure this crap out.

2007-02-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

So I decided to start a new blog, since I feel like too many people monitor the myspace one (well, I mean, people I actually know) and I'm tired of having to censor myself for the sake of relatives, friends, etc. That's not my style. I may get around to dragging all of my old posts from there over here, I may not. Not like it matters. I'm really not the most entertaining blogger in the world- I'm extremely self-centered and I'd say that about 99% of my posts will be about shit that no one but me cares about. Well, me and any stalkers I have. At any rate- I'm going to take a minute to look around and see what I can do with this thing.

* Allison *

----------------

Okay, so I guess it won't let me back-blog....or whatever you would call it when you take posts from a different blog that you wrote at some point before the present and post them on the correct dates. so my myspace is: http://myspace.com/allisoncampbell if you feel so inclined to read my older blogs.
~A